


Raging Dumpster Fire (An Anthology Of All The Stuff I've Written)

by SeerOfShips



Category: Ancient Greek Religion & Lore, Original Work
Genre: 80's Music, All Time Favorites, Alternate Universe - Angels & Demons, Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - Mad Max Fusion, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Arranged Marriage, Asexual Character, Asexual Relationship, Assassins & Hitmen, Based on a Bruno Mars Song, Basically the whole thing's gay, Beach Volleyball, Bisexuality, Break Up, Buzzfeed Unsolved References, Cheating, Coffee Shops, Coming Out, Cryptids, Doctor Who References, Drama, Fallen Angels, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Free Verse, Genderfluid Character, Good Omens References, Historical Accuracy, Historical References, I DID SO MUCH RESEARCH FOR THE LONGER ONES, I probably should be but I'm not, I wrote in the end we're safe and sound with angst in mind and i'm kind of sorry, I'm Not Ashamed, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Inspired by Music, LGBTQ Character, LGBTQ Themes, Lesbian Character, Lesbians in Space, Lucifer is forever alone and HE HATES IT, Magic, Multi, Music, Musical References, Mutual Pining, Mythology References, Nonbinary Character, Original Fiction, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pansexual Character, Pirates, Plot Twists, Poetry, Polygamy, Post-Apocalypse, Prompt Fic, Queen (Band) References, References to Ancient Greek Religion & Lore, References to Norse Religion & Lore, References to Paradise Lost, References to Supernatural (TV), References to fanfics that are on this site, Slow Burn, Steampunk, Steven Universe References, THESE TAGS DO NOT GO IN ORDER, The stories in this took up like 3 months of my life, This makes me happy, To Be Continued, To Be Edited, Tour Bus, Trans Character, Urban Fantasy, Volleyball, Weird Biology, Weird Plot Shit, Weirdness, Work In Progress, a lot of these are for completely different stories, all the representation, hopefully, it's stopped, kind of, kind of not though, so many references, so much magic, so much music, sorry about that, that's a tag
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-22
Updated: 2020-01-13
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:41:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 20,249
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21896827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SeerOfShips/pseuds/SeerOfShips
Summary: I've got a whole bunch of things written, and I don't completely want to burn them, so I decided to compile them all and upload them here!I'll update it as I write, and most likely will go back and redo a few of the things I post.Requests are welcome! (Fair warning, I may not get to them right away, because writer's block is actual Satan)
Relationships: Artemis (Ancient Greek Religion & Lore)/Original Female Character(s), Original Character(s) & Original Character(s), Original Character(s)/Original Character(s), Original Character/Original Character/Original Character, Original Male Character(s) & Original Male Character(s), Original Male Character(s) & Original Non-Binary Character(s), Original Male Character/Original Male Character
Kudos: 2





	1. You Are Capable

_You Are Capable_  
When I was fifteen, there was a sign in my math teacher's class.  
It said: "You are capable"  
Now, that might seem a little vague,  
But to me  
It meant the world  
To me, "You are capable" wasn't just an empty phrase  
To me, "You are capable" meant  
"You are capable of succeeding"  
"You are capable of being yourself"  
"You are capable of breaking free"  
"You are capable of taking those sticks and stones  
and words thrown at you  
and letting them fall away  
into the abyss"  
"You are capable of living your life  
and not being afraid  
to be afraid"  
"You are capable of telling the world your story  
and shouting your sorrows and fear and agony  
from the rooftops  
of the buildings where you used to hide  
from the monsters in your life"  
"You are capable of anything  
and nobody can ever  
take that freedom away from you"


	2. The Greatest Poets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another angsty poem! Most of the other stuff that's getting posted in this batch is nowhere near as heavy as this poem or the one before it.

_The Greatest Poets_  
You know, it's always fascinated me  
that all the greatest poets  
were the ones that hurt the most  
They were abused, broken-hearted, depressed,  
And yet their beautiful words  
made such a contrast to the  
bleak, monotonous Hell of a world  
that they lived in.  
They write about hearts beneath the floorboards  
To make anyone who reads their poems understand  
the sheer terror of losing someone  
when you can still hear their heart beat.  
And yet  
Their words make no difference.  
The best poets always end up dying  
Sad  
and alone  
and unappreciated.  
The greatest poets leave a mark on the world  
After they're gone  
Almost as if  
from wherever they are now  
they're saying  
"See? This is what it feels like  
To lose someone  
You didn't even know you loved"


	3. Fire In The Sky

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another poem! This one is much lighter than the last two. It's not the best, but that's probably because I wrote this at sunrise (I'm very much NOT a morning person).

_Fire In The Sky_  
Clouds shining   
fiery oranges and golden yellows  
setting the sky ablaze.  
I stare  
transfixed   
as the dawn's light makes their colors shift  
Above the black-blue mountains in the distance.  
Maybe   
If I weren't stuck behind this dusty window  
In an old, yellow school bus  
I could be up there too.  
Dancing in the twilight  
Joining the fiery heralds of the Sun  
Wind running through my hair   
wild and free.


	4. Fog

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another poem I wrote far too early in the morning

_Fog_  
A layer of fog  
covers the green earth  
of the fields outside town  
It doesn't smother;  
It just rests  
White and nebulous  
Hiding the slumbering rocks  
And grass  
And trees  
Who aren't ready to get up   
and face the waking world


	5. Swimming In Static

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A short story I wrote based off an image prompt (found here: https://cidapereira01.files.wordpress.com/2018/04/where-heavens-meet-by-freydoon-rassouli.jpg?w=593 )

In the beginning, there was only static. Tiny flecks of barely-there color awash in a sea of monotone snow. It was like this for a very long time, so long that the Universe had almost forgotten what true color was. Then, there was a spark. Suddenly, the dust motes of color swarmed together. They mixed and stuck to each other and BECAME. Swirling hair the color of galaxies that had been forgotten eons ago; long, swirling robes that blended the colors of ancient, green earth, and the blue of oceans and skies alike; finally, a delicate face and arms began to form. The process of BECOMING took an eternity and yet, it took almost no time at all. Once the tempestuous BECOMING was finished, a woman was there. She was a part of the static, and yet, she was apart from it. Floating in the ever-shifting sea of black and white, she decided to CREATE. She CREATED earth and sky and sea anew, and pulled planets and suns and galaxies from the static snow. Once she had returned the Universe to its state before the static washed over everything, she still felt something was missing. She drifted along in the Universe for eons, thinking of what she had missed, until a bright little planetary ball of blue and green and white caught her eye. She decided that she would CREATE one more thing: A facsimile of the creatures that had populated a planet from before the static. She entered the atmosphere of the little planet, and focused her energy. Slowly, a being came into existence. It looked much like a human, but was not. This species would have knowledge seared into their DNA of how the planet should be treated. This way, what had happened to the planet of the CREATOR would never happen again. The CREATOR took the name Frigga, and reshaped herself so she could spend some time walking among those she CREATED, and ensured they did not starve or hurt or thirst. She did not care if her CREATIONS made mistakes; she was not like the deity from the religion of her home planet. She would always forgive and help repair any mistakes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You might notice me taking a few potshots at a certain major religion. Behold my field of regrets, and see that it is barren.


	6. The Disaster Affectionately Nicknamed "The Pirate Story"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This hot mess was written over the course of several days. It's in no way a finished story, but there are a few scenes that are partially fleshed out. Most of it is incoherent ramblings. It kind of links with Swimming In Static at one point, so there's that. It's also where the swearing starts, so heads up.  
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Image/word prompt found here: http://visualprompts.weebly.com/uploads/2/5/2/2/25222088/_2567551_orig.jpg

Most epic adventures don't start out with an application and an insurance waiver. That's why Freyja-Frey for short, thank you very much- was confused when, after having promptly sunk the ship she was on along with everyone else aboard, the pirates who had taken her prisoner handed her her suitcase, then asked her, rather kindly, if she would mind filling out some paperwork. 

BEFORE ALL THAT SHIT HAPPENED  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Freyja packed up all the stuff she cared about into a single suitcase, all the while making various disgruntled noises. She was being forced to move across the Atlantic Ocean to *get married* of all things. Having discovered she was asexual almost six years ago at the age of thirteen, Frey was thoroughly DONE with the assumption that she was going to get hitched to some rich douchebag in Portugal, of all places. She didn't even speak Portuguese, for crying out loud! If that wasn't bad enough, her family insisted she take a ship there. Bluh Bluh Bluh.

Frey was frogmarched from the ship she had been on and onto the pirates' ship, where she was promptly restrained. She was vaguely proud of the fact that, in the process of being restrained, she had managed to claw one pirate's arm. *Huh. Turns out those damned acrylics Mother Dearest made me get are good for something,* Frey thought. After attempting to use the aforementioned plastic nails to saw through the rope restraining her and failing (and realizing exactly why people with acrylics hated having broken nails so much), Frey contented herself with heckling the pirates as they went back and forth between the two ships.  
"You call that a jump? My grandmother could do better, and she's in a wheelchair!", "Are y'all just taking your time or are you so idiotic you haven't realized there's a hold full of valuables yet?", and "If y'all unloaded any slower, you'd be moving backwards!" were just a few of the myriad of insults yelled. Frey got so caught up in her heckling (which she was enjoying quite a bit) that she failed to notice the awed looks the crew were shooting her, as well as the muttered comments about how she would make a good . The captain was especially amused by her antics, chuckling quietly as he started inventory on the freshly-stolen goods.

"Sorry about the rough treatment earlier. We had to make sure that if there were any survivors, they wouldn't spread the story that we offer people jobs on the ship instead of taking prisoners." a man with a mop of brown hair. Still thoroughly confused, Frey asked the only question on her mind.  
"What the actual fuck is going on?" she exploded. "Why do you guys want to hire me, anyways? Oh GODS, is this some kind of pervy thing? Cause let me tell y'all, I'd rather jump off the ship into a shark's mouth than sleep with any of you guys." The expressions of the crew ranged from shocked to amused as they all worked together to move the sunken ship's cargo below decks.  
"What? No! Why would we-Ohhhh. You think that since it looks like there are only men on this ship except for you, we're all desperate for release. Well, normally, you wouldn't be wrong. Luckily for all of us, there are a few misconceptions in that statement. First of all, there are other women on the ship, as well as some people who don't identify with the gender binary. Also, all of us don't limit our romantic and sexual interests to people of the opposite gender. In fact, all the people on this ship were rescued from being mistreated or even killed because they're interested in other people of the same gender, or don't like the gender they were born as and want to change genders, or fluctuate between a few. That reminds me, I forgot to ask: What's your name, pronouns, and orientation?" Brown Hair Guy asked.  
"My chosen name is Freyja, Frey for short, no you can't know my given name. I've honestly never thought about what pronouns I'd choose, and my orientation is no," replied Frey with a wry smirk. "None of the above, not interested, can I have cake instead?" Frey's dry sarcasm elicited more than a few amused huffs from various members of the crew, including Brown Hair.  
"Well, it's nice to meet you, Frey. Nice namesake, by the way. I'm Jormungandr, Jor for short. I'm the captain of this ship, the *." said the man, apparently called Captain Jormungandr. Frey was, again, confused.  
"What do you mean, namesake? I found the name Freyja in a book of names in my parents' library, and decided it fit better than what I used to be called." Frey asked.  
"Well, both of our names come from one of the oldest religions that exists, which many people consider to be very close to the truth. Your name is shared with the goddess of war, love, magic, and gold, among other things. My name comes from the name of the serpent that is said to encircle the world, sleeping at the bottom of the ocean until Ragnarok, the end of the world."  
"Huh. That's cool."  
"Yep! Anyways, back to the boring stuff. What do you say to the job offer?"  
"Hmmm...Let's see. You sunk my parents' ship, made it so I can't get to where I was being sent, and killed anyone who could send help to get me where my parents were sending me. Hell yeah, I'll take the job! You saved my ass from a forced arranged marriage with some rich douchebag in Portugal!"  
"Oh really? What was the person's name?"  
"Uhhhhh... I don't remember. I've just been calling him Mr. Douchebag."  
"Well then. Guess we'll keep an eye out for anyone flying the Portuguese flag."  
"If we find him, I have just one request."  
"What is it?"  
"I get first dibs." She grinned maliciously. A few of the men shivered at her sudden shift from

Important genderfluid name stuff  
Unusual pronoun set Frey uses sometimes: Ze/Zir/Zirs. As in "Oh, that's zirs" "Ze left an hour ago" "That's zir jacket"  
Boyfriend/Girlfriend/Enbyfriend(or SO/significant other or MINE)

Who to write in and as who  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Miss A (Long, blackish brown hair, green eyes, glasses, mega bitch): some kind of snooty, stuck-up governess who tries to get Frey to "act like a proper lady" and Frey's like "Bitch what part of 'WE'RE RAIDING YOUR SHIP' do you not get? Also, not a girl right now." and miss A is like "My goodness! Such language!" and Frey fuckin' smirks and just starts swearing a blue streak for no reason. Jor hears them, goes to see if something's wrong, and sees Frey grinning like a loon with Miss A looking like she's gonna faint. Frey just says "So this dumbass basically asked for it. Told me to act like a proper lady." and Jor just does the Obama "seems legit" face, laughs, and proceeds to empty the room of valuables and supplies while the sputtering governess is just like "Oh goodness! Stop that! Come back!" and Frey and Jor just start fuckin' cackling then in sync yell "SUCK MY DICK" and walk off, still cackling

[finding Douchebag scene: One day they target the ship of Mr. Douchebag, and the whole crew's like "Oh no" and frey's like "OH YES" and she's literally the only one to board the ship, but she takes out EVERYONE through sheer anger, and you can hear her yelling "THAT WAS FOR TRYING TO MARRY A NINETEEN YEAR OLD, AND THAT WAS FOR TRYING TO MAKE ME MOVE TO PORTUGAL, AND THAT? THAT WAS BECAUSE I FELT LIKE IT" and Jor's just like "That's mah girl" and everyone else is like "Holy shit it's a good thing she's on our side"]

"Ship off to starboard! Flying the Portuguese flag!"  
*Excited Frey noises* "Hand me the ."  
Frey looks over and starts cackling rather loudly  
"Alright y'all can relax. I can handle this one. It's *HIM*."  
everyone is like "Oh shit, on your own?"  
Jor is like "Guys. This is Mr. Douchebag we're talking about. The only thing we should worry about is securing their ship to ours and thinking about how much fun this is gonna be to watch"  
Jor steers the ship over, and the crew make sure to use those holdy rope thingies  
Frey fuckin' vaults onto the other ship screaming "DOUCHEBAG YOU USELESS FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK"  
For a while, the only things you can hear are angry/sadistic Frey noises, screams, and blood spattering.  
Then she gets a hold of him and fuckin' drags him up to the deck hogtied, and says "I found him. Y'all wanna watch this next part?" and everyone's torn between staying and going to watch Frey fuck the guy up. Jor tells the first mate to stay behind and make sure nothing goes horribly wrong, then goes to the other ship, sneaks down into the galley, gets SOME FUCKIN' POPCORN, and sits down to watch Frey do the classic "You done fucked up, it's torture time for you and rant time for me" thing.  
[end]

[Weapons training scene, use whenever]  
"So, we figured since you're on our crew and all, you should have some weapons training."  
"Oh, cool! So, what weapon will we be starting with?"  
"Well, we figured you'd rather have something that didn't take as much physical strength, so we're gonna start you off with a pistol."  
*Amused, condescendingish laughter* "You do realize I have quite a bit of physical strength, right? After all, who do you think moved half the cargo from that Cuban ship while y'all were dealing with the guards?"  
"Alright then, what weapon would *you* like to learn how to use?"  
"Hmmmm...Oh, hello"(practically purred) "This is mine now" (pointing at cutlass)  
*under breath*"Should've known you'd like the sharp, pointy things."  
(LATER)  
Frey is slicing the shit outta a training dummy and saying "Did I forget to mention I was trained in fencing? Got to Nationals one year!" and everyone is even more terrified of pissing her off.  
[end scene]

[Snake eye scene]  
It was half past midnight, and there was no moon. Frey was wandering the decks aimlessly, Jor not far away, when she saw a glow under the water off the port side that reminded her of Jor's eyesocket tattoos. However, there was one key difference: The glowing area was MASSIVE. She padded over to the glowing water, and froze. Underneath the murky waters, a golden, slit-pupil eye easily four times the size of the ship stared back at her. As soon as she recovered from the initial shock, she tried to get Jor's attention.  
"Jor! Get over here! You're gonna wanna see this!" she hissed.  
"What is it? Is it one of those glowing squid again?" he murmured back, already on his way over.  
"No. It... Uh... Well, it looks like your namesake." Frey muttered as Jor peered over the side of the ship. Immediately upon looking down, his jaw dropped and he began to murmur something in what sounded like Old Norse.

One time some dumbass on a ship they're raiding tries to flirt with/do the naughty dance with Frey. He's like "Hey, hot stuff. How about you come back to my cabin and I show you a good time" and Frey looks at him with this "You dumbass/wait what the fuck" look, and he keeps going and Frey's holding in zir laughter until Jor walks by with the guy's money and shit and makes an amused snorting noise. Suddenly Frey just LOSES IT and starts dying of laughter and the guy's like "What's so funny" and Jor just turns around, tilts his head back, and yells "ZE DOESN'T WANNA FUCK YOU" (a la that one guy from a slap on titan) and just walks away howling with laughter. The guy gets offended and tries to go after Jor, but Frey stops him and pulls out zir sword and the guy's like "Whoa there where'd you get that? A nice girl like you shouldn't have things like that" and the ENTIRE CREW JUST FREEZES and Frey's like "Care to repeat that?" so he DOES and everyone's like "Hooo boy he's dead" and Frey just says "Okay, fine. I'll go below-decks with you. I wanna show you something" and ze basically drags him off to somewhere dark below decks, then turns around and just says "Boo" and since zir tattoos are glowing THE GUY PRACTICALLY PISSES HIMSELF and tries to run but Frey blocks the exit, and does a Chaotic Neutral-style murder (aka just desserts style) and like 10 minutes later ze comes back on deck fuckin' covered in blood, and Jor's just like "The scare 'em and pare 'em thing again?" and Frey's just like "Yep! He nearly pissed himself!" and Jor's just...SO GONE for zem. Like, he starts calling zem "Mina hjarta" which means "My beloved heart" in either old English or old Norse or maybe a mix of both I don't remember but it's just SO CUTE and hE SLIPS UP AND CALLS HIM THAT ONLY ONCE AND IT'S THE SCENE WHERE FREY ALMOST DIES and when Frigga shows up she sees Jor cradling Frey's body like he's made of glass, and after Frey's healed, Frigga's just like "oh btw adorable nickname for your not-bf" and they both just fuckin' FREEZE and Jor says "W-WHAT DO YOU MEAN NOT-BOYFRIEND?! WE'RE JUST FRIENDS!" at the same time as Frey says "Well, guess THAT cat's out of the bag. Also, thanks for checking pronouns" and Frigga is just...So Done(TM) and is like "OH FOR MY SAKE JUST KISS ALREADY" BECAUSE DEUS EX MACHINA IS THE BEST and Jor's just like wait how did you know about the nickname and Frey is like "You do realize like half the crew's psychic and you're loud, right?" and Frigga just starts snickering because JOR'S FACE IS THE *EXACT* COLOR OF A TOMATO and HE SOUNDS LIKE A SKIPPING CD AND IT'S HILARIOUS

[Frey's coming out scene!]  
"Hey Jor?"  
"Yeah?"  
"Uhh...I've been thinking about the question you asked me when I first joined the crew."  
"Which one is that?"  
"The one about which pronouns I prefer. I've been going around and talking to a whole bunch of the crewmates who changed their pronouns, and it made me realize something."  
"Mmmm?"  
"Jor, I...Uh...I think I'm genderfluid." The words came out in a rush.  
"Alright then," He smiled gently, "Which pronouns would you like me to use for you right now?"  
"Right now, I'm nonbinary, so they/them works for me."  
"Do you still want to be called Frey, or is there another name you'd like me to use?"  
"Well, Frey's a gender-neutral name, so I'll stick with it" They grinned. "Looks like I made the perfect name choice back then"  
"It would seem so" Jor chuckled softly  
AAAAAAAAAAAAAA THEY'RE SO SOFT I CAN'T ASOJDLGJDFLKGDFLOEIRJEDFNKV

Things Frey will say to scare the crap out of people  
"You know, having a hangover is exactly what it feels like to thirst to death. I wonder what would happen if you combined the two."  
"I heard you can kill someone if you hook them up to a water IV. By the way, are you a light or a heavy sleeper?"

Somehow work in the phrase "Entire countries haven't known what to charge me with for *years*, and you got it in a glance. That's kinda hot"

Description of peeps  
Freyja (Frey for short, birth name Francine or some shit, no last name bc she renounced it):  
Skin color: PALE AS FUCK at first then tan  
Hair:reddish-brown, wavy, reaches little bit below shoulders  
Eye color:  
Height:5'4"  
Build: Not very curvy, but has a fencer's muscle combined with enough muscle to have the upper body strength to do acrobatic pirate shit  
Personality: WILL kick your ass, but has a soft spot the size of the sun if she trusts you (fuck up ONCE and you're in the doghouse for a LONG time)  
Outfit: baggy but easy to move in pants and a loose t-shirt, uses a cloth strip to keep her hair back

Captain (Jormungandr, Jor for short):  
Skin color: Very tan  
Hair: Windblown, medium brown, cut shortish  
Eye color: this gorgeous golden color that he was bullied for (got called "snake boy" a LOT)  
Height: 5'10"ish  
Build: Pretty thin but with whipcord muscle  
Personality: Kind of laid-back but still keeps the crew in line, will let Frey kick your ass if you pissed them both off, but if you hurt Frey you're F U C K E D  
Outfit:  
Celebrity lookalike bit  
Personality: Jack Sparrow meets  
Appearance:  
Voice: Brandon Urie-ish

Crew members' names (need anywhere from 25-125, with around 40-80 being a decent amount): Sigyn [Norse goddess of I CAN'T REMEMBER](Trans mtf), Kali[??? goddess of SOMETHING????], Caerus [Greek god of opportunity, luck, and favorable moments], Phobos [Greek god of fear] and Deimos [Greek god of dread and terror](Twins/boyfriends? IDK?)(Part of raiding party), Babd Catha (Celtic goddess of war. Symbolizes life, enlightenment, wisdom, and imspiration. Name can mean "boiling", "battle raven", and "scald-crow". Has cauldron filled with boiling mixture that produced all life. Other spellings are Badhbh, Badb, Banba), Bel (Celtic fire and sun god, also god of purification, science, fertility, crops, and success. Symbolizes element of fire, health. Closely connected with druids.), 

Scene where they're on this island where there's some kind of drug (Weed? Lotus flowers? I DUNNO) and EVERYONE on the island is addicted. Like, you walk through the streets and people are just sitting around mumbling things. The song High by Sir Sly would ABSOLUTELY be in the background. The crew'd all have bandannas around their noses and mouths to avoid breathing anything in, because none of them wanted to get addicted to something like that. (Some of the crew's parents mad trouble with drugs/alcohol)

Captain: Jor  
First mate:  
Quartermaster[in charge of supplies and in charge of dealing with minor problems]:  
Sailing Master[navigation and piloting]:  
Gunners(leaders of artillery groups[4-6 men per gun]. Watch for safety and usually aim the cannons):  
Boatswains[supervisors]:  
Surgeon(s): Airmid (Celtic goddess of medicinal plants. Can revive the dead),  
Cook(s):  
Cooper[in charge of maintaining barrels]:  
Carpenter[maintained ship's wood]:  
Musicians: Angus Og (Celtic; Has harp that plays irresistible music)  
Mates[Apprentices to ppl w/ big jobs]:  
Riggers[worked rigging and unfurled/furled sails]:  
Mages:  
Mostly just raiders: Arawn (Celtic god of the underworld, terror, revenge, and war), 

People who are just kind of existing around the world as Frigga's "disciple"y people: Arianrhod (Deity of Air element, reincarnation, full moons, time, karma, retribution), Aine of Knockaine (Celtic goddess of love and fertility, later known as fairy queen. Goddess related to moon, crops, and farms/cattle. Revered among herbalists and healers and is said to be responsible for body's life force.), Artio (Celtic wildlife goddess), Blodeuwedd (Celtig maiden form of triple goddess. Symbolizes wisdom, lunar mysteries, initiations. Helps gardens and children grow), Flidais (Celtic goddess of forest, woodlands, and wild things.),

Frigg's alt. IDs: Anu (Goddess of manifestation magic, moon, air, fertility, prosperity, plenty. Mother earth goddess and maiden aspect of Morrigu)

Brighid (Celtic goddess of fire and water, in charge of midwifery, healing, crafts, smiths, poetry, and inspiration; basically human potential. Possibly began as a sun goddess. Imbolc is her day. Aka Brigit, Brigid, Brigindo, Bride)

Cernunnos (Celtic god of virility, life, animals, forests, and the underworld. Symbolizes element of earth, love, fertility, death, the virile male aspect, and the dark half of the year. Sacred animals are bull, ram, stag, and horned serpents. AKA Cerowain, Cernenus)

Cerridwen(Celtif moon, grain, and nature goddess. Patron of poets, greatest of all the bards. Symbolizes luck, earth, death, fertility, regeneration, inspiration, the arts, science, poetry, and astrology. Sacred animal is a white sow.)

Cyhiraeth(Celtic goddess of streams, her scream fortells death)

Dagda (God of earth/all father. God of death. Symbols are harp, 2 swine, and bottomless cauldron of plenty)

Danu (Celtic goddess of rivers, water, wells, prosperity, magick, and wisdom. Patroness of wizards)

Diancecht(Celtic god of healing and medicine. Sacred to druids bc healing powers. Lost hand, got new one made of silver, then got his hand back. Killed his own son bc he was a better healer.)

Don (Celtic Queen of Heavens and goddess of air and sea. Ruled over land of the dead, corresponds to Danu. Symbolizes control of the elements, the moon)

Druantia(Celtic Queen of the Druids. Fir goddess and mother of tree calendar. Symbolizes protecc, knowledge, creativity, passion, sex, fertility, growth, trees, and forests.)

Dylan (Celtic sea god. Silver fish is symbol)

Goibhniu (Celtic god of blacksmiths, weapon-makers, brewing. AKA great smith)

Gwydion (Warrior and magician god, god of enchantment, illusion, magick. Symbol is white horse)

Llew Llaw Gyffes (Celtic god of harpers, healing, poets, smiths,

TITLE IDEAS  
~~~~~~~~~~~  
Rainbow Sea  
Of Pride and  
The Pride of the Chosen Few  
A Pride of Pirates  
Of Snakes and Wings

Hello naughty children it's anachronism time  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Doesn't exist  
\-------------  
Planes  
Freight ships (like the metal behemoth ones)  
Cars  
Coal power plants (They're mostly/all ocean wave-based, solar, and wind-based)  
Oil-based plastic (they figured out how to make it out of corn!)  
Big factories (Most things are still made local)

Exists  
\------  
Homophobia  
Pride flags  
Acrylics  
Glow in the dark tattoos (Bioluminescence FTW!)  
MAGIC(BUT SCIENCEY MAGIC)

How le fack magic works  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Healing: Basically able to release pulses of bio-electrical energy from hands (esp. fingertips) that communicates to the body "Okay, you gotta heal faster! Go make more xyz cells!". Takes a lot out of both the person healing and the person being healed. (unless you're Frigga. Frigga doesn't give a fuck about logic) Can also send electrical "orders" to make muscles relax. Massage w/ healing magic built in is A M A Z I N G  
Fighting: Basically sending conflicting and overloading signals to the person's nerves and muscles via touch (most of their weapons are staffs and the like coated with a superconductor so they don't have to actually TOUCH the person) 

HOLY SHIT COMBINE THIS WITH THAT PAINTING PROMPT AND HAVE IT WHERE PLANES WERE NEVER INVENTED BC THEY'RE BAD FOR THE ATMOSPHERE BUT THEY FOUND ALTERNATIVES FOR MOST THINGS  
IUSDHUDIFJVHN IN THIS FRIGGA'S CHOSEN ONES ARE THE GAYS(TM)  
ASDFGHJKJ WHAT IF WHEN THEY DO RAIDS AT NIGHT THEY HAVE GLOW IN THE DARK TATTOOS SO THEY SCARE THE CRAP OUTTA THE ASSHATS THEY'RE RAIDING

SHIPS CAPTAINS CAN MARRY PPL  
JOR OFFICIATES J=HIS WEDDING TO FREY FOR LAUGHS BUT RIGHT AFTER IT STARTS FRIGGA SHOWS UP AND DOES IT :D

[Sleep deprived ramblings]  
Fuckin what if Frey gets pissed off and somehow fuckin summons Kali into her body  
She's like "HELLO MOTHAFUCKA HEY HI HOW YA DURN BOW DOWN BITCHES" and there's just blood and fire everywhere and she's got glowing extra arms, like a LOT of extra arms, and she's just glowing blue, and Jor's like "Oh shit what just happened?" then Frey's like "Oh they pissed me off a little too much btw gimme banan and choc" and he's just like FRIGG HELP US ALL IS SHE GONNA BE LIKE THIS EVERY MONTH and Frey's just like "IDK depends" and then goes back to being her best Kali self and the ship they're raiding just kind of... disintegrates right after she's done and the THOUSAND FUCKING GLOWING ARMS just fade away and Jor's like "Feel any better?" and Frey's like "Eh? Kind of??" and everyone just kind of collectively pisses themselves a little.

FREY DOES THE DICKING DOWN SOMETIMES AND JOR'S A POWER BOTTOM  
[End of sleep deprived ramblings]

The glowy bits look like  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Frey  
~~~~  
Face: Bright turquoise in eye sockets and on eyelids, but more drippy blood red below eye sockets down to jawbone.  
Chest: Gold swirly thing on collarbone  
Back: White feathery wings with red bloodstains  
Arms:Gold bands around forearms, red on hands that looks like blood dripping off  
Abdomen:  
Legs:

Jor  
~~~  
Face: Yellow in his eye sockets and on his eyelids, with a black bit so that his eyes look like snake eyes when he closes 'em, GLOWING CANINE TEETH  
Chest: patches of green, red, and glowing black scales that get bigger as they go down  
Back: more parches of scales  
Arms: Ghostly blue snakes coiling around his arms all the way to the shoulders  
Abdomen: gradually becoming more and more snakeskin covered from top to bottom  
Legs:

What if I bring in a whole bunch of stuff from ancient myths?  
They're definitely gonna be sailing along one night and the ocean will seem to have a golden glow and they'll look down and see one MASSIVE (like, 5 or 10 times the size of the boat) glowing amber-yellow snek eye looking up at them

One day, Frey gets hurt in a night raid (like, bad gash bad, not OH SHIT SHE GON' DIE bad that's a different bit) and Jor FUCKING LOSES IT, calls everyone back, and CHARGES ABOARD THE OTHER SHIP IN FULL GLOW MODE AND just says "Hello naughty children. It's murder time." and then just...Death and destruction to the asshats. When he's done, he comes back fucking COVERED in blood and Frey looks at him all worried and he says "Don't worry, none of it's mine" and Frey's just like "K good" nad everyone's like "Yeah they're meant for each other now if they would just GET THEIR HEADS OUT THEIR ASSES"

Another time, Frey gets hurt bad enough to be almost dead and Jor kills the one who did it but then afterwards he's just all sad and when Frey's about to die he prays to Frigga and FRIGGA SHOWS UP LIKE "Hey, don't worry my child/friend. I'll heal her. After all, this ship is full of my chosen ones" and everyone's like WAIT WAT DE FAK and she stays and tells them the story of the other blurb I wrote and she's like "Yeah and this is the FIRST TIME someone has asked me for help in the last thousand years guys what the fuck" and everyone's like "Oh yeah monotheism took over and fucked shit up" and Frigga's like W H A T THIS IS NOT PERMIT and goes off to kick ass and take away people's monotheism cards.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA SHOULD JOR BE A FATHER/UNCLE FIGURE OR A ROMANTIC INTEREST HELP  
Mmmmmmmm...Lurve, but Frey gon' be genderfluid, so this is gonna be a fun ride

Animatic to phietto remix of lone digger where the beginning sound fade in fade out thingies are warning shots, the bass coming in is the footsteps of the pirates boarding, and the shit rlly starting is when Frey gets stolen, then it cuts to a montage of the beginning

THE GAY PIRATE NERDS HAVING DANCE(GAVOTTE?) NIGHTS THAT ALWAYS WIND UP TURNING INTO ORGY NIGHTS And Frey is just in the corner/on deck like "Oh look there's all SORTS of nope over/down there. Lots and lots of nope! I don't want any, thanks" and she doesn't realize she yelled this aloud until the orgy devolves into laughter

FREY AND JOR DRINKING CONTEST WHERE THEY BOTH DRINK "EXTRAOOOOOOOOOOOOORDINARY AMOUNTS OF ALCOHOL" AND THEN GO ON A RAID AND EVERYONE'S TERRIFIED BECAUSE THEY'RE BOTH CRAZY DRUNKS (Frey tying herself to the front of the ship and shrieking IM A MERMAID BITCHESSSSSSSSSSSS)

Jor started the pirate ship because he was abused by his mother. His mother verbally and emotionally abused him, and when he tried speaking up for himself, he got yelled at and called horrible, horrible things. He eventually couldn't take it and left, saying he would never return. He packed up everything he owned into satchels and bags and joined a crew. He was safe there, until something went horribly wrong, and everyone onboard died except for him. He rechristened the ship, and began doing what he does now. However, certain swear word combos will make him flinch. The crew know this, so they have an unspoken list of "You can swear, but you can't use these specific combos" going on

PLAYLIST  
~~~~~~~~  
Writing it:  
doing it right daft punk

Actual themes:  
Lone digger phietto remix  
Little swing aron chupa

Frey:  
Confident demi lovato  
Black betty caravan palace 

Jor:  
The Greatest Show Panic At The Disco

OH SHIT IS FREYJA THE GODDESS OF FANFIC? AFTER ALL, LUST, WAR, LOVE, DEATH, FERTILITY. BASICALLY FANFIC.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, I'm not too happy with it, but I hope you enjoyed it!


	7. Post-Apocalyptic Whoop-De-Doo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Short story that isn't really my style, but got written anyways. It started out as me jotting down notes for a story idea, then somehow it transitioned to actual writing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Blame "To The Ground" by Death Cab For Cutie for this one.

Post-apocalyptic world  
Everything is rusty ash   
the skies are covered in yellow clouds  
The land is criss-crossed by dusty, worn roads  
there are these machines that look like RVs but they're made of metal plating (looks like the more bendy bits of plate armor). They've got mechanical legs. Some of them look more like pillbugs, with many tiny legs low to the ground. Others look like head and neckless giraffes, with fewer legs that hold them higher up above the ground. There are small clusters of tents scattered across the land, as far apart as towns are in the desert. Everyone has taken to a nomadic lifestyle. Some of the creature-vehicles have deployable blimps that allow them to rise into the sulfur-colored clouds and avoid the bands of marauding raiders. The size of the machines varies. Some are as small as a U-Haul trailer, while others are the size of cruise liners. Nobody knows how they're powered, but they never lose power. However, it's extremely dangerous to get anywhere near the heavily insulated power source compartments. The people of this desert world have no need for water. Their ancestors found a way to eliminate that need from them. All they do is roam the dusty, barren land, searching for somewhere different; a place where the plants and animals (these words held meaning once, but have since become relics of the past) are not all dead; a place where the ground is not red, but green and brown and tan. This is the quest they all know, the one that thrums in the core of their beings, the one they were charged with so long ago: _Find Paradise_. Little do they know, _Paradise_ sank under the shifting, rusted sands hundreds of years ago. None of them know this, and so they continue on their futile quest through the ashes of a civilization that once was.


	8. The Mess Known As "Blame It On The Mashup"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don't know what the fresh prince of hell happened to my brain to make me churn this out, but it happened. Whether that's a good or a bad thing is up to the reader.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First bit is set to "It Will Rain" by Bruno Mars  
> Second bit is set to the unholy abomination of a masterpiece that is "X Gon Give It To Ya Maybe", found here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fegs-XVKgnM

The rain came down so quickly and heavily, it seemed that my whole world was under a waterfall. The wind beat against the windows to the tempo of my sobs as I curled tighter in on myself. I had loved him so much, devoted all my spare time to him, made sure he knew I _cared_. I did everything I could and more, so why had he discarded me like some worn-out toy? As I thought this, the memory made its way into my head once again.  
I knocked on the door of my boyfriend's apartment, making sure to shield the scarf I had made for him from the rain.  
"Hello? Adam?" I called out. There was no response. I tried the handle, and the door was unlocked. I walked in, not noticing the _two_ pairs of rain-soaked shoes near the door. If I had noticed them earlier, maybe it would've shielded me from the shock of what I had seen later. I continued through his apartment, noticing the bedroom light was on.  
"Adam? Are you he-" I froze in shock. He was here, all right. The problem was, so was another man. Their clothes were strewn about the room. Tears blurred my vision. I backed away, then began to run, ignoring Adam's shouts of my name. I ran out the door, slamming it behind me. I had to get out of there, and forget all this. I got in my car, started it with shaky hands, and drove off into the downpour. After I got home, I sat down on my bed and began to cry. How long had he been cheating on me with other men? Just last week, we had celebrated Christmas as a couple. Had he been thinking about some other man even as he kissed me? It hurt too much to think about. Thankfully, the sadness stopped trying to drown my fairly quickly. I sat up and announced "Fuck it, I'm not moping about this. I'm gonna go get drunk and have fun," to the empty room, then stood up to get ready to leave. Tonight was New Years' Eve, and that meant all the bars and clubs would be open. Deciding to go get as wasted as possible and have as much fun as possible, I changed clothes, I walked out of my apartment, and hailed a taxi, giving the driver the address of the closest nightclub.  
\--  
I walked into the club. It was the last night of the 2010s, so the DJ was playing all the top hits from the decade. Normally, I would've been thrilled about the music, but right then I didn't really care. I was just looking to forget what I had seen. Dying inside slightly at the reminder, I trudged over to the bar, ordering a drink. Suddenly, I heard a cackle off to my right. I glanced over, and saw someone sitting at the bar next to me with a huge grin, a 'They/Them' pronoun pin, and a lot of glitter on their face. Their short, soft-looking dark blue hair also had a truly heinous amount of glitter in it. They looked at me, and their eyes seemed to sparkle with mirth. Of course, that could've been glitter that had fallen in their eyes.  
"You look sad, and what I've got planned should cheer ya up at least a little bit. Watch this!" they said, right before they got up and vanished into the herd of people on the dance floor. Confused, I did as they requested, and watched them. A minute later, I saw them pop up right next to the DJ booth. They plugged a USB into the DJ's computer, giggled, and dove back into the throng of dancing people. When they waded out of the crowd near me and wandered over, they were grinning like a loon.  
"What did you do?" I asked. They grinned impishly.  
"Oh, you'll find out in 3...2...1...Showtime!" They snapped their fingers, and a loud record scratch sound played as all the lights in the room went out. Everyone on the dance floor stood there in confusion for a few seconds until the lights blazed on again, this time clearly flashing and moving in a choreographed program. I heard a familiar tune start blaring from the speakers.  
"Did you really hack the DJ's computer to play Call Me Maybe?" I asked. They smirked.  
"Nope." Right as they said that, the lyrics started. They were most certainly *not* from Call Me Maybe. I laughed as I realized that they were playing a mashup of Call Me Maybe and X Gon' Give It To You. The DJ had redoubled his efforts to go back to his original playlist, eventually giving up, unplugging Puck's USB, and launching it across the room. This only made me laugh harder. Eventually, I calmed down, and turned back to the dark haired person.  
"So, I gotta ask, why did you do that?" I asked.  
"Well, my parents decided it was funny to name me Puck, so I'm living up to my namesake!" Puck responded. Suddenly, they looked off to their right, where a security guard was staring at them with a laser focus. "Aw *shit*. I gotta go. We can continue this conversation later, if you aren't opposed to a bit of running in heels." I glanced down at the 2 inch heels I was wearing and shrugged.  
"I've sprinted in heels higher than these before. Let's do this." Puck grinned, and grabbed onto my wrist, gently tugging me towards the door. As we got closer to the door, the security guard started walking toward us. "RUN!" Puck yelled, and we ran out the doors and into the cold December air. I could hear the guard behind us, heavy boots thumping on the sidewalk. We turned a corner and ducked into an alleyway, panting for breath.  
"That...That was fun!" I told Puck. They laughed breathlessly.  
"Glad you think so."  
We walked out of the alley to a nearby park. The old clock tower's face glowed and gently illuminated the bench we sat on. Suddenly, the tower's bells began chiming. It was midnight. I fidgeted awkwardly. "I hope you weren't looking for a New Years' kiss."  
"Why?" they asked.  
"Because I'm the gayest gay to ever gay. Oh, and I just broke up with my boyfriend." I said. They cackled loudly, breaking the awkward silence. "What's so funny?" I asked,vaguely offended.  
"I'm sorry to hear about the breakup, but you can't be the gayest gay to ever gay!" they laughed.  
"Why not?!" I said, starting to get angry.  
"Because that's _my_ title!" they wheezed out.  
"...Ah." I said, sending them into another fit of laughter. After a while I realized I had forgotten to introduce myself. I stuck my hand out. "By the way, I'm Jack."  
Puck shook it and grinned. "Well, nice to meet ya, Jack. I get the feeling this is the start of a great partnership."  
I thought for a moment, then smirked. "Well, I have a great idea for where we can cause chaos first."  
They cackled slightly. "Oh, really? Do tell!"  
"Well," I said. "I think my asshole of an ex is gonna be at a party all night, and I still have a key."  
Four hours, 500 red solo cups, 10 rolls of duct tape, 13 cans of spray paint, a LOT of water, and five sacks of cornstarch later, we left my ex's house, running high on adrenaline.  
"I think what we just did would make even Kevin Bacon proud." I announced.  
"Kevin who now?" they asked.  
"You haven't seen Home Alone?" I yelled.  
"Nope."  
"Yeah, okay that's a problem. We're watching that tonight. Fuck sleep, anyways."  
"FUCK SLEEP!"  
I hailed another taxi, and brought them back to my place, where we watched Home Alone, and fell asleep on the couch as the sun rose. My last coherent thought was "Thank fuck for having New Year's Day off."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Puck is absolutely a glitter gremlin.  
> Also, I wrote the second part first and the first part second, so if the transition seems a little jarring, that's why. (I'm working on fixing it)


	9. Star Story (Edit Update Planned Soon!)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one's one of my favorites (or at least it will be when I finish editing it). It's the first story outline I had other people read through and tell me what they thought about it; however, this was written a while ago, so I've been editing it, and hopefully I'll put up the revised version soon!   
> I was lazy when I wrote it, so sometimes I wrote "A" instead of "Artemis" and "L" instead of "Luna"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For this one, blame the Royal Philharmonic Orchestra's covers of These Are The Days Of Our Lives, Under Pressure, and Love Of My Life (all three are originally by Queen)

The Day The Moon And The Skye Fell In Love [Artemis and Luna]

It was the summer solstice, and Luna was in the middle of the dance pavilion. She was dancing with a tall, gorgeous young woman named Artemis. The full moon lit the scene, crickets and cicadas playing a countertune to the symphony's melodies. Artemis swirled Luna across the floor, causing their skirts to rustle and shift against each other.   
Artemis grinned and asked her, "Have you ever wondered what it would be like to dance amongst the stars? Spinning in time with the whirling constellations and stepping your way across the stardust arms of a galaxy?" As Artemis spoke, her eyes caught the light, allowing Luna to truly see their breathtaking color. It was as if the very stars she had been talking about were hung there, coruscating merrily. Completely unable to look away or say anything, Luna answered her question with a slight nod. She grinned, and it was as if the constellations in her eyes became supernovas. "Well then, you're in for a treat!" she declared. After she spoke those words, the song changed to one Luna had never heard before. She pulled her close and they began a slow, spinning sway together. Still spellbound by Artemis' eyes and charming manner, it took her a while to realize the sound of people had dimmed to a faint hum in the background, yet the music had stayed the same volume. Curious as to what was going on, Luna looked around, and her jaw dropped. All around me were the tips of the cypress trees that surrounded the pavilion. We were far above the other dancers, and steadily going higher. I let out a squeak of surprise, and clutched her arms tightly. "Don't worry, I've got you," she chuckled softly.  
As if on cue, the music swelled around us, strings and brass and woodwinds all harmonizing to create a flowing, almost celestial sound. Suddenly, she said, "Alright, we're almost there. Would you mind closing your eyes for a bit?", and pulled me impossibly closer to her after I had closed my eyes. Suddenly, there was a rustling sound, and a murmured "You can open your eyes now." I looked around, still clutching to her hands, and gasped. All around me was a glittering panorama of nebulas, galaxies, stars, and constellations. The music still played in the background, adding to my awestruck feeling. She pulled away from me for a moment, curtsied, and asked "May I have this dance, madame?". I flushed pink and nodded, smiling as she took my hand. The music switched to a more fast-paced, upbeat song. We swayed together to the pace of the song, and it seemed like the celestial bodies around us pulsed with light in time. She sang along quietly with lyrics I didn't recognize in a rich alto. After the song was over, a slower song started, as she sighed and said, "The festival is almost over. It pains me to say this, but it seems like this is our last song." As we slowly spun around each other and descended back to Earth, she began to sing along, and the words almost broke my heart. They were so sad and yet hopeful, and I could tell she meant every word as she sang to me.   
As the song's last notes echoed through the air, I clung to her and said, "We've only just met, but I feel like I've known you forever! I won't leave you, I promise!" with unshed tears in my eyes.   
She smiled softly and asked, "We haven't just met. Do you recognize me?" as she lifted up a hand to cradle my face. As if her touch were magic, memories came rushing back, as did the tears. We had met before in past lives, but she never seemed to change.   
"Who are you?" I asked her.   
"You studied Greek culture in school, right?"  
"Yes?"  
"Well, think about my name for a bit." She grinned.   
"Wait...Are you...Are you really the Goddess Artemis?" I gasped.   
She squeezed my hands. "Please don’t be afraid. I would never hurt you." I pinked a bit at that and looked away. She let go of one of my hands to tilt my chin back up. "I have loved you for so long. I would never do anything to try to hurt you. I swear on my life." At those words, a shimmer appeared around our still-intertwined hands.   
"What was that?" I asked.   
"That was the oath taking effect."   
"W-wait, what do you mean, oath taking effect?" I stammered out.   
"Well, when an immortal being makes a serious promise like I did," at this she gently pulled me close to her again, "It's binding. If I were to ever try to break that oath, it would strip me of my powers at the very least." When I realized how truly serious she was that she loved me, I began crying uncontrollably. "Is there something-Did I do something wrong?!" she panicked.   
"No, no, don't worry! These are happy tears!" I beamed, and hugged her tightly. She began to card her fingers through my hair, murmuring words of comfort and love as I continued sobbing with joy. “I’ve just been lonely for so long, and the hole in my chest is finally gone!” I said.

I felt a strange humming sensation spreading through my body. "What's going on? My whole body feels like it's humming!" Artemis' jaw dropped. "A-Are you sure that's exactly what it feels like? It's not just fatigue?" "No, I'm not tired, but it feels like every bone in my body is vibrating." Suddenly, tears sprung to her eyes and she pulled me close in a tight embrace "I can't believe it! It's been aeons since I even tried to work magic like that!" "What are you talking about?" "As one of the first goddesses, I'm able to work magic through dancing. When we danced, I knew that I couldn't bear to lose you again, so I tried to funnel all the magic that we created into making you immortal, and it worked!" She picked me up and spun me around in a circle. I began to cry again as well. "Not even Hades or Morpheus can pull us apart now!" Overcome with joy, I leaned down and gently pressed my lips to hers. As soon as our lips collided, I felt a spark of something warm in my chest, which soon ignited into an inferno. 

(The spinny bit is like this except Artemis keeps Luna in the air as she talks: http://www4.pictures.livingly.com/mp/-GgJxQByxB-l.gif )

DIONYSUS INVENTED THE INTERNET  
Also, luna used to be a goddess, but some god made her mortal and made it so every time she died, she instantly got reincarnated. Artemis *breaks* the cycle

They got married at night somewhere there's almost no light pollution and amazing stars (not space tho) (Gazebo on cliffs overlooking a beach on Sicily right at moonrise)

Luna's Vows: When we met back in Sicily and you swept me off my feet into the stars, I knew you were the one. Not just because of you literally dancing with me anong the stars, either. I knew I loved you then because you were, and still are, kind, loving, gentle yet strong, and everything I've ever wanted. Artemis, you are the light of my life, and I promise to 

Artemis' Vows: 

SINCE ARTEMIS DOESN'T LIKE HER DAD AND LUNA'S FAMILY IS DEAD (and dead to them) THEY WALK EACH OTHER DOWN THE AISLE WEARING THE SAME DRESSES THEY WERE WEARING WHEN THEY MET AND THE SONG IS DROPS OF JUPITER OR BRIGHT

Luna becomes immortal (somehow) and in the 50s/60s they dance to the LPO version of Crazy Little Thing Called Love

In the 70s/80s they go to a Queen concert and Luna’s like “WAIT I KNOW THESE SONGS” and Artems is just like “Yep. The versions we heard during our first dance are from even further in the future!” and Skye’s just like “...How???” and Artemis is just like “Mmmmmmmmmagic”

IDEA: After Luna actually listened to the lyrics of a lot of Queen songs, she decided Freddie Mercury needed a hug. At Live Aid, she asked if she could give him a hug, and he let her. When he asked her why she wanted to hug him, she said "It just seemed like you needed a hug"  
Luna and Artemis somehow convinced Apollo to cure Freddie Mercury's AIDS  
Apollo had a big ol' crush on Freddie and that's why he agreed to heal him  
*I CAN'T THIS IS TOO ADORABLE*  
1st idea: The way they did it is Freddie would live his life, then when he was about to die, Apollo would swoop in and do a magic so it looked like he died (because he was too famous to just be cured) and then bring him to Olympus

Gotta do something where when someone Freddie knew really well dies, he goes and escorts 'em to the afterlife himself

What if Apollo was Jim Hutton?  
AOUSFHNDFOI;KVJLCMS;ODKXL,  
Work in "Show Must Go On" somehow  
What if that's the song playing at Freddie's funeral and he's watching it happen and Apollo, Luna, and Artemis are next to him and there are tears and ASDFGHJK

AHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA THIS IS SO SWEET AND FLOOFY I'M GONNA CRYYYYYYYYYYYY  
What if Apollo got bored and wanted to see what the "Queen" thing Artemis and Luna were talking about was all about so he made a human disguise, called himself Jim Hutton, and went to go see what was going on, and ended up getting a crush on Freddie  
What if as F was dying Apollo began singing "Love Of My Life" while crying a lil' bit and Luna and Artemis melt because *they know exactly what kind of emotions are happening*  
Have the song "I Want It All" playing either when Freddie finds out who Apollo is or when Freddie becomes immortal and they get married the very day the law legalizing it passes in the UK  
What if when Luna hugs Freddie, Apollo gets jealous and Artemis smacks him upside the head like "Chill. She's mine, he's yours. Behave"  
Waitwaitwaitwait if Jim Hutton became HIV positive...Maybe freddie chose to fake his death? Nah  
Oh, maybe they shared a guy or somethin?  
Or maybe freddie went off and had fun on his own and it went south.

What if the real reason Queen did that "Flash" song was Freddie poking fun at Apollo? ehhhh bit early but we can make it work.   
What about Freddie humming it to tease Apollo instead? That and 7 seas of rhye  
Their theme would probably be "Good Old-Fashioned Lover Boy"  
Apollo teasing back with "keep yourself alive" and freddie being like "*bIG sarcastic offended gay gasp* You're using myself against me? Really?"   
"It's A Hard Life" was written bc of Apollo's offer  
The song "Who Wants To Live Forever" was written about it too  
Freddie had a bit of a hard time coping, and didn't make his decision until like '89 or '90

Waitaminute  
What if when Freddie came home after canoodling with whoever gave him HIV/AIDS (they had an open relationship), Apollo could *tell* because he's a god of healing. As soon as Freddie walked in the door, Apollo's heart would just *shatter* and you'd be able to see it in his eyes and he just goes "oh nononononononono" and Freddie's confused and Apollo sits him down and tells him that 1. He's Apollo (he proves it...Somehow?) and 2. That freddie has HIV/AIDS  
Mmmmmmmmmmm yes hello naughty children it's DRAMA TIME

!!!! THIS  
"When Mercury was diagnosed with AIDS, Hutton was by his side, not as his nurse, but as his partner. Hutton said of the matter, 'When he was diagnosed he said to me, ‘I would understand if you wanted to pack your bags and leave’. I told him, ‘Don’t be stupid. I’m not going anywhere. I’m here for the long haul’.”

OOOOOOOH EVEN MORE EVIL IDEA!  
Apollo doesn't say *anything* until Freddie gets diagnosed and when freddie tells him, after the quotes from above, freddie gets all self-deprecating and Apollo cracks and tells him who he is.  
Yeah, i'm using that one, because DRAMA :3

SDOIFJOIGKJDFM THEY ACTUALLY WORE WEDDING BANDS  
In this, their wedding bands were forged in the sun (with Hephaestus' help)

It was really easy for Freddie and Apollo to do the ritual because the sheer CHARGE coming off 'a just one of Freddie's concerts was enough, let alone all of the concerts he did (Magic batteries stored it)  
Going to a place where tens of thousands of people are dancing is like the best kind of high for a god/goddess/deity, bc the raw energy is auto-harnessed  
It's A Kind Of Magic was a BIG ASS HINT  
Lmao Luna being SUPER offended that Freddie doesn't like Star Wars and breaking out a LITERAL LIGHTSABER from ARBYS and chasing him around and Artemis and Apollo are like "...Should we do something" "Yeah, probably"

Artemis smacking Apollo upside the head when he tries to hit on someone:"You already HAVE one. Behave."  
Right after Freddie becomes immortal, Apollo murmurs "well, you wanted to become a prince of the universe, so here we are" and THERE'S A SMOOCHIE AND IT'S ADORABLE AND LUNA SHOWERS 'EM WITH STARDUST AND IT'S SO S A P P Y QvQ  
...I have zero clue if any of this is usable, but I still unkilled Freddie Mercury and that's STAYING

hOLY SHIT APOLLO'S THE GOD OF MUSIC IT WORKS EVEN BETTER  
What if part of the reason Apollo got a crush on Freddie is becaise Freddie's such an amazing musician and people will remember him for a long time (Jealousy to crush)  
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA FREDDIE PERFORMED AT THE *APOLLO* THEATRE IN SCOTLAND  
K according to my research, Freddie was shy when not on stage, so add a bit of that in

As soon as Apollo gets a crush on Freddie, cue Aphrodite and Eros clinking champagne glasses and going "Here's to those two. We didn't even have to do anything; they did our work for us, and they're adorable"

Freddie would absolutely be the god of rock n roll, with his on-stage costumes being his formal wear. One day he waltzes in wearing the cape, crown, and velvet suit and it's just silent then Hephaestus mutters "I could make a better crown. That one's at least half lead. I'll get it to you by the end of the week." and everyone is weirded out until Hephaestus says "What? He's an outcast who made it big. He's one of my people. Plus, his music isn't half-bad." and just AAAAAAAAAAA WHY IS THIS SO BLOODY FLOOFY  
I TRY TO CAUSE PAIN AND THEY JUST...GET EVEN FLOOFIER  
The crown Hephaestus makes looks the EXACT same as his old one (which i stucked away safely at his house), except it's made outta adamantium or some shit and it's got like ALL the bells and whistles.  
Oooh what if one day Freddie was approached by [either Hephaestus, Apollo, and some other god or a few of the Muses] and they ask him if he can teach them a few of his songs all awkward-like

During his last concert [as a human] Luna and Apollo start eye-sweating (THEY AREN'T CRYING THEY SWEAR XD)

Freddie 110% approves of Panic! At The Disco

My response to the "Luna is dead" theory: I mean, technically, she is, because is immmortality really being alive in the conventional sense? I mean, she doesn't have blood anymore (she has ichor) sooooo i dunno. I didn't write it that way, but you can read it that way if ya want

SIDFJSIOFGJSIGOJE IF I EVER PUBLISH THIS, IN THE BEGINNING I'M GONNA PUT THE THEME AND ALL THE EVIDENCE SO THAT ANY PPL WHO WRITE AN ESSAY ON IT DON'T EVEN REALLY HAVE TO DO ANYTHING

In the '70s, Luna auditioned for a role in Mamma Mia and GOT ONE and so Artemis helped her learn all the dances (even those she didn't need to know becuae the'yr adorable dancing bbys) and Artemis used "My dancing queen" as one of her affectionate terms for Luna after that

Aurora borealis Dancing Scene  
We were in Reykjavik, Iceland, completely ignoring the war raging around the world. The sky was lit with ribbons of technicolor fire, and they were so absolutely gorgeous that they took my breath away. I squeezed Artemis' hand where ours were interlinked, then gently pulled her into the air, up to where the aurora still danced. There, surrounded by icy winds and fiery rainbows, we began to dance, the same way we had all those millenia ago.

At first, Luna's hella shy, but then once she gets used to Artemis, she's a fucking *spitfire* and Artemis is like "Hooooooooly shit she's PERFECT"

They have a (basically palace) in space that's made out of a nebula or 10 and IT'S SO PRETTY AND JUST AAAAAAAAAAAA

Zeus is the one to start that big war

Vignettes throughout history  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Something something Aztec/maya/inca   
Them very much avoiding any part of the start of christianity ("So the tomb's empty! Big whoop! Someone coulda carried off the body!" -Luna)  
They were dealing with helping gods of various pantheons reconstruct the books from alexandria when they heard about Pompeii  
Watching Pompeii get destroyed and Artemis comforting Luna (Pompeii Imagine Dragons)  
They were there when the astronomers in China found and recorded the supernova in 185 AD  
They absolutely spent most of the time during the Shunga Empire in India helping along astronomical innovation  
They were the ones to make the Crab Nebula out of that supernova in 1054  
They were good friends of Abd al-Rahman al-Sufi and were thrilled when he found a few nebulae  
They had an absolute ball during the Renaissance. They spent that entire period in Italy, enjoying themselves  
They visited Copernicus and talked to him about the Solar System  
They visited Galileo and passed on Copernicus' ideas as well as a few of their own  
They spent a long, LONG time in ballrooms in the 1700s-1900s (Fly Me To The Moon Sinatra)  
They ABSOLUTELY made a copy of the Hubble telescope, upgraded it, and adopted it as their child YOU CANNOT CHANGE MY MIND  
Going to the moon (invisible) along with Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin  
In the 70s/80s they go to a Queen concert and Luna’s like “WAIT I KNOW THESE SONGS” and Artemis is just like “Yep. The versions we heard during our first dance are from even further in the future!” and Skye’s just like “...How???” and Artemis is just like “Mmmmmmmmmagic”  
Went to Uluru and watched the stars  
Poked around the meteor crater in Mexico  
Went to Reykjavik to see aurora borealis  
Visited temples and shrines to moon god/desses in: Kyoto, Japan; Izmir, Turkey(she was right pissed when she found her temple destroyed); Luxor, Egypt; 

Official order of where they went [and why]: Sicily; Alexandria; Pompeii; Shandong, China; Patna, India; Shiraz, Iran; Frombork, Poland; Pisa, Italy; Milan, Italy; Paris, France; London; Uluru; Somewhere In America; Manhattan; Cape Canaveral; Bethel, NY; London; Reykjavik; Chicxulub crater; Athens)

They're in Alexandria when Artemis hears Hephaestus say "something something Vesuvius something Pompeii something something destroyed" and Luna just goes pale, grabs Artemis, and they fuckin' zoom over to Naples with Luna panicking, and they both see the smoke plume, and Luna tries to run towards the city and help them, but Artemis holds her back, going "You'll only get yourself trapped, or worse" and Luna struggles at first but then she goes limp and just starts sobbing and Artemis is holding her and crying a lil' bit too, and they just sit there holding each other as they watch the city get buried. (Possible: L starts screaming at the sky/volcano/wherever "WHY DID YOU DO THIS? WE'RE SUPPOSED TO PROTECT PEOPLE NOT SLAUGHTER THEM" and A just holds her tighter)

Zeus absolutely hates that Artemis is with Luna until there's a banquet and they're sitting next to each other and just being...SO SOFT... and Zeus is like "Crap I can't break them apart they're in love" and Hera's just like "Yes, they are."

The little shits figure out how to do magic by dancing and the FIRST BLOODY SONG THEY CHOOSE WHEN THEY DO IT TOGETHER INTENTIONALLY is Kind Of Magic by RPO  
THAT'S HOW LUNA BECOMES IMMORTAL: THE MAGIC FROM THEIR FIRST DANCES

SO MANY ARCHAEOLOGY PRANKS

Work in food-based dates at some point?

REENACTMENT OF ALL THE DIRTY DANCING SCENES WITH DANCING

Something with an inlay for the rings

The way they make stars is they first pick out a core for the center (which determines what color it’s gonna burn), then they get a whole bunch of hydrogen powder, then pack it in a sphere and light it. At first, it burns a weak form of the core, but then they add various colors of stardust, which modify the temperature and chemistry of the star, changing its color. Finally, they make it the proper size with magic.  
After a long day, Luna will come home covered in various colors of glitter looking like she’s gonna pass out and Artemis will just look at her, melt a little, smile softly, and pull Luna off to the bathroom to clean her off.

They get a dog that's a lot like daisy but navy instead of black, purple instead of brown, pale blue and lavender instead of cream, and silver instead of white.

Artemis has such long hair because it's considered a show of strength/dominance to be able to comb/brush out all the tangle after a hunt without wincing

They were absolutely at Live Aid, Stonewall, and possibly at Woodstock  
Artemis is kind of an unspoken drag king sometimes  
Luna will throw you in the sun if you mess with Artemis  
Artemis went to a Bowie concert and LOVED IT. She still has the t-shirt from it  
Artemis was pissed off at the moon rocket's name because "THE MOON IS MINE YOU DUMBASSES! NOT MY BROTHER'S!"  
Luna lost her Italian (shhhh it's the closest I could get) accent a LONG time ago but it shows up when she's drunk or angry  
They both were huge fans of Eliza Hamilton's work with orphanages  
Luna can check on things in space without moving by shifting her vision, but she's also just sitting there staring blankly at whatever's in front of her at the same time. Artemis nicknamed it "spacing out" and it stuck.  
Luna holding up a smartphone with two fingers, going "what the actual fuck is this" and Artemis is just recording it, laughing.  
To apologize for the moon rocket's misnomer (see: get Artemis to leave him alone) Apollo bought Artemis and Luna a flatscreen with Nefflix, Amazoon Proom, and Hooloops paid for for eternity. He mentioned Doctor Who ONCE. Artemis and Luna now have a fully-functioning TARDIS, because it's technically within Luna's rights to make a fully-functioning TARDIS.

They don't get pets because they don't want anything that can die, but GODS ABOVE do they have a lot of inanimate children. The list: Hubble telescope copy[BAKA or Blackmail And Knowledge Archiver], the magic equivalent of a Roomba with a knife on it that's got a camera, bag and boosters on it so it can carry supplies in space when Artemis and Luna head out[CHARYBDIS or Crazy Hovering Armed Robot You Bet Drives In Space], a fully functioning TARDIS[TWISTER or Time Warping Insanely Spectacular TARDIS Except Real], and a truly, obscenely large collection of weapons [Collectively called Arby's for Arsenal's Really Big, Y'all're Screwed]

One time, CHARYBDIS disappeared for like a week and Luna and Artemis were panicking, but then CHARYBDIS showed back up with its knife covered in ichor and no storage left on the camera. Turns out it had gone off to terrorize Olympus by zooming around and stabbing people in the ankles (especially Zeus)

"You know, you're absolutely gorgeous when you smile like that" Artemis @ Luna (or the other way around) when she's beaming because of something she did (probably dancing solo)

Shit they've done for payback to ppl who deserve it  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Stolen all the noses off of Zeus' statues and reattaching them right where his dick would be  
Solar eclipses (because HAHAHA FUCK YOU APOLLO WE WIN)

This happened thanks to Rick Riordan and the Kane Chronicles series, Freddie Mercury, Sapphos, and the pair of raging lesbians inside my head! Mostly blame Freddie though.

First song: These Are The Days Of Our Lives [Dance = foxtrot and/or quickstep]  
Second: Under Pressure  
Last: Love Of My Life 

Setting: Sicily, circa 80 BC, Summer solstice festival, dusk.

Artemis convinced Kronos to give her a hand in getting ahold of the music for the night she and Luna danced, and he agreed, but only because he was tired of watching Artemis pine every time Luna died.

L: "Damn girl are you from out of this world? Because I see a celestial body!  
A: "OH FUCK LUNA WHAT HAVE YOU DONE"  
Apollo: *distant nyooming noises that are steadily getting closer* "PICKUP LINE TIME"  
A: "Run."

A's pet names for L  
\--  
My dancing queen  
Baby  
My love  
Sweetheart

L's pet names for A  
\--  
Love  
Artie

When Luna's in one of her "I'm a little shit and I know it" moods, she wears a crown made out of stardust and the iron from dead stars

Apollo calls Luna "Sparkles"

Their wedding rings have bits of stardust in ‘em so they glow and sparkle and look all pretty

SPACE CORGI  
THEY NEED A SPACE CORGI

Artemis  
Hair: Really really dark green, blue, and purple [nearly black] with a couple bright silver streaks that glow in the dark the 2 nights before, after, and on the full moon; tailbone length; kinda wavy; usually leaves it down, but sometimes puts it in a long braid or ponytail fastened with a silver hair tie  
Eye color: silver ( https://i.pinimg.com/originals/4d/1f/5b/4d1f5be22f010dba50dec51868714900.jpg )  
Height: 5’7”ish?  
Skin tone: Caramel  
Age: Yes (Looks early to mid-20s)  
Clothing taste: Athletic stuff, mostly dark colors (Black, blue, purple, green) with silver accents  
Personality: Kind of a disaster gay, athletic, kind of like that one kick-ass counselor at an outdoor camp,   
Other: does NOT like dresses AT ALL, crossdressed a LOT throughout history so guys would leave Luna alone because possessive, likes 70s and 80s rock music, has a t shirt from a Bowie concert that's been basically made impervious because it's her favorite shirt, was the one to adopt/create CHARYBDIS, has long hair because it's considered a show of strength/dominance to be able to comb out all the tangles after a hunt without flinching, is Toughest Bitch In Town but can and will melt if she's alone with Luna, probably keeps her wedding ring on a necklace so it doesn’t get damaged, 

Luna Skye (Becomes goddess of space, stars, etc. BUT NOT THE SKY. THAT'S ZEUS' JOB [he threw a huge fit about that])  
Hair: Blonde originally, but became all nebula colored when she became immortal like these:  
https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRtu7dwDm60tR5NaeiLoTfhDIqty18ZVWx-bM2C6aKxcmqFS3HqWA&s  
https://i.pinimg.com/originals/55/66/b3/5566b33413838391225af325fe4cfeac.jpg  
http://mymodernmet.com/wp/wp-content/uploads/2017/03/geode-hair-17.jpg  
https://i.pinimg.com/originals/2c/74/c3/2c74c31d4e6de2452d75a731eb4f91a8.jpg  
https://1.hairstylenew.club/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/Geode-hair-color-styles-remind-us-of-crystals-and-geodes-and-their-natural-beau.jpg  
https://laylahair.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/08/20-8-2-Labradorite.jpg  
http://cjwarrensalon.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/11875423_743317749130112_563428437_n-754x480.jpg  
http://runwayzmagazine.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/03/IMG_3427.jpg  
https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSQGjH2vNNb_CwIztZAepq4S7JL4z5AIWl5GVBylj7luMq0qMVo&s  
http://mymodernmet.com/wp/wp-content/uploads/2017/03/geode-hair-14.jpg  
https://ath2.unileverservices.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/4/2016/12/geode-hair-oliviagardenint.jpg  
Eye color: blue and purple and red nebulae and stars (kind of like this! https://i.pinimg.com/originals/a4/1f/1b/a41f1b91d5898f26ef6bbf11eaeb466b.jpg )   
Height:   
Skin tone: Beige (Covered in freckles that turned silver and gold and blue and red and purple and grey and teal when she became immortal)  
Age: Late teens, early 20s at the beginning, then v old, but no physical change  
Clothing taste:  
Personality: Kind of a disaster gay, kind of an introvert but is okay at parties if she knows someone there and can stick together with them,   
Other: Likes dresses, was the one to make TWISTER, really soft but can switch to "Kill mode" if you screw up badly enough, has a bit of social anxiety, Likes Milky Way candy bars,

Apollo  
Hair:  
Eye color:  
Height:  
Skin tone:  
Age:  
Clothing taste:  
Personality:

Freddie Mercury  
Hair color:  
Eye color:  
Height:  
Skin tone:  
Age:  
Clothing taste:  
Personality: Shy but not submissive; 

!!!!!!!!!!!!!! "When asked by Melody Maker in 1981 if rock stars should use their power to try to shape the world for the better, Mercury responded, 'Leave that to the politicians. Certain people can do that kind of thing, but very few. John Lennon was one. Because of his status he could do that kind of preaching and effect [sic] people's thoughts. But to do this you have to have a certain amount of intellect and magic together, and the John Lennons are few and far between. People with mere talent, like me, have not got the ability or power.'" WHEN HE BECAME IMMORTAL HE DEVOTED A TON OF TIME TO MAKING THE WORLD BETTER  
"In 1987, Mercury celebrated his 41st birthday at the Pikes Hotel, Ibiza, several months after discovering that he had contracted HIV.[88] Mercury sought much comfort at the retreat and was a close friend of the owner, Anthony Pike, who described Mercury as 'the most beautiful person I've ever met in my life. So entertaining and generous.' According to biographer Lesley-Ann Jones, Mercury 'felt very much at home there. He played some tennis, lounged by the pool, and ventured out to the odd gay club or bar at night.'"

Skin tone ref: https://geneticliteracyproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/b-e-f-bbd-dbb-.png

Luna’s mom was blonde, had blue eyes, and was cold and kind of a bitch  
Her dad had black hair, brown eyes, and was kinda misogynistic  
It was rather difficult to stop Artemis from marching off to make ‘em suffer in the Underworld

Possible interactions with other gods (how they’d go)  
Zeus: NOT GOOD until Hera steps in (“WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU’RE IN LOVE WITH HER? YOU SWORE TO BE A MAIDEN FOREVER” “I’M A LESBIAN WHAT THE FUCK WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO TO GET GUYS TO GO AWAY?” “MARRY ONE” “WHAT PART OF L E S B I A N DO YOU NOT GET”)  
Hades: Good (He and Persephone are just glad that Luna’s immortal so they don’t have to deal with a heartbroken Artemis storming the Underworld)  
Poseidon: Not too good (Gets...Ahem...Confused for a while about why Artemis is interested in girls, and then gets confused about why she decided to stick with one)  
Hera: Good (She steps in and talks Zeus down [aka threatens his manly bits again] and then congratulates the two)  
Demeter:   
Apollo: Okay (Bit of amusing shovel talk from Apollo to Skye)  
Dionysus:   
Hestia: Really good (she’s thrilled that Artemis has found the girl she’s been pining over for FOREVER)  
Persephone:  
Aphrodite: Good (She’s also thrilled Artemis has found the one she was pining over)  
Ares:  
Eros: A bit awkward, but good (He can tell how much they lurve each other)  
Hephaestus: yes best boi

Persephone would totally wear this: https://dtkp6g0samjql.cloudfront.net/uploads/photo/file/15298720/gallery_hero_45b98764-4cfc-45a3-bf78-6835bdd1e251.jpg

Playlist  
~~~~~  
These Are The Days Of Our Lives - Royal Philharmonic Orchestra  
Under Pressure - Royal Philharmonic Orchestra  
Love Of My Life - Royal Philharmonic Orchestra  
Crazy Little Thing Called Love - Royal Philharmonic Orchestra  
A Kind Of Magic - Royal Philharmonic Orchestra  
Starry Eyed - Ellie Goulding  
Share Your Address - Ben Platt  
Bright - Echosmith  
Drops Of Jupiter - Train  
Counting Stars - OneRepublic  
Fly Me To The Moon - Frank Sinatra  
Moondance - Van Morrison  
A Thousand Years - Christina Perri  
Faithfully - Journey  
Slow Dance With You - Rebecca Sugar  
I Don’t Dance - Lee Brice  
Shut Up And Dance - Walk The Moon  
Checking My Pulse-Alix Olson  
Thank You-Vitamin String Quartet  
Teenage Dream-Katy Perry  
Dance Hall Days-Wang Chung  
Classic-MKTO  
Human-Christina Perri  
Moonage Daydream-David Bowie  
Space Oddity-David Bowie  
Under Pressure-Queen & David Bowie  
Thinking Out Loud-Ed Sheeran  
I Wanna Dance With Somebody-Whitney Houston  
Hey, Soul Sister(Psyrex Remix)-Train  
Hound Dog-Presley  
That'll Be The Day-Buddy Holly & the Crickets  
I Get Around-Beach Boys  
Pretty Woman-Roy Orbinson  
Great Balls Of Fire-Jerry Lee Lewis  
The Wanderer-Dion & The Belmonts  
Calendar Girl-Neil Sedaka  
Blueberry Hill-Fats Domino  
At The Hop-Danny & the Juniors

Playlists throughout time  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
20s  
~~~  
Another One Bites The Dust- RPO(from RPO plays queen)  
30s-40s  
~~~~~~~  
Fly Me To The Moon - Frank Sinatra

50s-60s  
~~~~~~~  
Hound Dog-Presley  
That'll Be The Day-Buddy Holly & the Crickets  
I Get Around-Beach Boys  
Pretty Woman-Roy Orbinson  
Great Balls Of Fire-Jerry Lee Lewis  
The Wanderer-Dion & The Belmonts  
Calendar Girl-Neil Sedaka  
Blueberry Hill-Fats Domino  
At The Hop-Danny & the Juniors

70s  
~~~  
Honey Honey-ABBA  
Thank You For The Music-ABBA  
Dancing Queen-ABBA  
Space Oddity-Bowie

80s  
~~~  
I Wanna Dance With Somebody-Whitney Houston  
Dance Hall Days-Wang Chung  
Under Pressure-Bowie & Queen  
Let's Dance-Bowie  
Magic Dance-Bowie  
90s-2000s  
~~~~~~~~~

2010s  
~~~~~  
Thinking Out Loud-Ed Sheeran  
Hey, Soul Sister(Psyrex Remix)-Train

Their outfits during the scene  
Luna:  
Dress:

Shoes:

Jewelry/Accessories:

Artemis:

Dress:

Shoes: https://photo.venus.com/im/19061741.jpg?preset=product

Jewelry/Accessories:

Formal outfits

Luna:

Dresses:

Shoes:

Jewelry/Accessories:

Artemis:

Dresses:

Shoes:

Jewelry/Accessories:

Normal outfits through the ages

Luna:  
Dresses:

50s: https://sinestezic.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/Sinestezic-romanian-fashion-designer-The-Moon-Among-the-Stars-elegant-tafeta-midi-dress-midi-evening-dress-midi-occasion-dress-2-433x516.jpg

Shoes: That gold pair of heels I have (you know the ones)

Jewelry/Accessories:

Artemis:  
Dresses:

1950s: https://253f150f49d1d63601c0-cbd9133601092a1b14cc7127b4f6aba1.ssl.cf2.rackcdn.com/product-hugerect-1995596-396565-1524021359-b26e6a271e1c58bf9d06ec7de8e44f5d.jpg

Shoes:

Jewelry/Accessories:

THE STORIES MERGE WHEN Artemis HEARS ABOUT MR. DOUCHEBAG AND GOES TO TAKE A SWING AT HIM AND (possibly literally) RUNS INTO FREY  
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA YUS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I brought Freddie Mercury back to life. Whether or not I regret it is up for debate.


	10. Coffee Shops, Werewolves, And More Fuel For The Dumpster Fire, Oh My!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This was written more recently, so I'm a bit happier with it. Hope you enjoy!  
> (Warning: Verbal abuse is mentioned in this, so if that bothers you, skip from after "Layla was one of the only people who treated him civilly" and pick back up at "Hello? Earth to Aren?". You won't miss anything too important, I promise.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song behind the story is Man or a Monster by Sam Tinnesz feat. Zayde Wolf

Aren woke up and dragged himself out of bed, putting on his brown work boots and getting ready to head to work. He didn't like dealing with people, but since he worked the night shift at a 24 hour coffee shop, it wasn't that bad. Aren grabbed his keys and walked out the front door, promptly going back inside when he realized he had forgotten to take his anxiety meds. That taken care of, he got in his car and drove to work.  
When he got there, the cashier, Layla, looked thrilled to see him.  
"Finally! I thought I was gonna be in here forever!" she said. Aren smiled slightly. Layla was one of the only people who treated him civilly. Most people took one look at the scars covering his body and immediately put him in the box labelled 'different', or 'freak', or the one his grandparents and all his other relatives were so fond of: 'monster'. Ever since the accident that got his parents killed, almost nobody had really cared about Aren. They all decided the accident was his fault, claiming the twisting spirals of scar tissue on his body were 'a curse' or 'the work of the devil'. Even after he had moved away from his hometown for college, Aren always wore long sleeved shirts to hide the scars.  
"Hello? Earth to Aren!" Layla said, waving a hand in front of his face, startling him.  
"Sorry. Just...Lost in thought." Aren said absentmindedly.  
"Ah. Well, this oughta help you find your way out." She handed him a large mug of coffee, just the way he liked it.  
"You're amazing, Layla. Now, go home. The hell that is finals starts in two weeks, and you'll need all the sleep you can get before that mayhem." Aren said.  
"Alright, alright! I'm going! I'll see you tomorrow!" she laughed, heading towards the door.  
After she left, Aren sighed, and sat down in one of the shop's armchairs to drink his coffee. Right after he downed the last dregs, he heard the door chime go off. Aren looked up. And up. The guy who had just walked in was over six feet tall, with brown hair and two different color eyes. One eye was sky blue, the other was forest green.  
"Can I help you?" Aren asked.  
"Please. I've got a huge project to finish, and I'll be up all night working on it." The man replied  
"Well, you can work on it here if you want. I'll keep the coffee coming." The look of gratitude he got in return made it worth having someone in the shop all night.  
"Thank you so much!" he said. If the guy had a tail, it'd be wagging like crazy.  
"No problem. So, what can I get for ya, and what's your name?" Aren asked.  
"My name is Fen and...Hmmm...How about a white chocolate mocha?"  
"Got it. One white chocolate mocha, coming up!"  
After Aren finished making his drink, Fen settled down to work. Aren glanced over at his screen, and could not understand a word of what he saw.  
"What in the world are you working on?" Aren asked, thoroughly confused.  
"I'm cross-mapping non-Latin alphabets onto each other. For example, the Hebrew letter pei and the Greek letter pi look similar and make the same sound, so they could've evolved from an older glyphic language."  
"Huh. That's actually really interesting." Aren murmured. "I gotta ask, what's your major?"  
I'm double majoring. Linguistics and archaeology." he replied. "What's yours?"  
"Anthropology, with a focus on Northwestern Europe." Aren said.  
"Well damn. That's cool!" Fen exclaimed.  
"Yeah, it is." Aren said quietly, before standing up. "I should probably go clean up the machines. They're a mess." He walked back over to the counter, and the room lapsed into a comfortable silence for a while. An hour or so later, Aren broke the silence.  
"You know, you're one of the nicest people I've met."  
"Really?" Fen asked.  
"Yeah. Most people treat me like a freak because of my scars. I've been called monster more times than I can count, and I'm not sure they're wrong."  
"What do you mean? You're a good person, and people should stop judging you based on some old scars." He paused. "Also, this might sound weird, but you're using the word 'monster' wrong; most people do."  
"What do you mean?"  
"You're thinking of it as an insult. Not all monsters are bad. The bad ones are just more well-known"  
"Oh, and you would know? You're the least monstrous person I've met."  
"Oh, you'd be surprised," he said. Then he sighed, and muttered "Shy's gonna kill me" before saying "Promise you won't freak out?"  
"As long as you don't pull out a bloodstained machete or something, yeah."  
"Where would I fit that? Inside my laptop's CD drive?" He laughed. "Alright, remember, you promised." Fen took a deep breath, before exhaling and *shifting*, bones reshaping and fur growing. When he finished, a wolf with brown fur and blue and green eyes stood before Aren.  
He stood there for a moment. Suddenly, the Fen-wolf sneezed, and one of his ears flopped over. Aren's heart promptly melted. "My GODS, you're adorable!" The wolf panted happily. "I suppose it'd be weird to pet you, eh?" Aren asked him. The wolf nosed at his hand in response, and so he began gently petting the wolf. After a few minutes, the wolf backed up, and shifted again, this time becoming a mix between human-Fen and wolf-Fen.  
"This is the form I'm most comfortable in." Fen said. "So, now do you see what I meant by 'You're using the word monster wrong'?"  
Aren nodded, then said, "Well, since you've shown me your secret, might as well show you mine." He rolled up his right sleeve, exposing the vine-like scars that wound around his forearms. "I have these scars all over my body, and nobody knows where they came from, but shortly after they showed up, my parents died."  
"I'm sorry."  
"I'm not. Everyone loved them but they were horrible to me."  
"Well then. Uh...I'm...Not sorry?" Fen said. Aren shrugged. "May I see the other arm? I might be able to tell where they're from depending on the pattern."  
"Sure." Aren rolled up his other sleeve, revealing the rune-like scars that were only on that arm.  
To his surprise, Fen looked...Happy to see the runes. "No way!"  
"What is it?" Aren asked.  
"You can use SEIDR!" Fen made various excited noises.  
"Wait. What???"  
"Oh man, this is gonna be fun! I have a friend who can also use seidr! She and her wife can teach you!"  
"Well, I gotta finish my shift first, but I'll give you my number so we can meet up sometime soon."  
"Sounds good!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The ending is still kind of a work in progress, so if you have any suggestions for what should happen, let me know!


	11. In The End, We're Safe And Sound

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is my favorite of all the stories I'm currently working on. It's eaten up over a month of my life, but it's basically my baby, so I regret nothing. I got lazy again when writing this, so "K" is Kyra, "M" is Mike, and "F" is Friday.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I came up with the prompt for this one myself! It was originally "'So, my hair is on fire,' I announced to the conference room full of executives, who were thoroughly unimpressed about my raging hair-fire.", but it got changed over time to better fit the context I put it in.

Title: In The End, We're Safe and Sound

After the Fall, all of the mate-colors disappeared from the wings of agels who lost a mate to the Fall.

NGL I pick character names like wizards in HP pick wands

Also, Mary was Frigga in disguise

Jesus goes by Yeshua

Metatron is basically an answering machine gone rogue

Set in Jersey?  
HQ is definitely in DC though  
Aight it's happening in DC. I'm gonna use the apartment we stayed in in Philly as a model for the embassy. That or I'll give them a gorgeous old house.

I'm naming Kyra's boss "Atretochoana eiselti" after Penis Snake and NOBODY CAN STOP ME HAHA  
Boss' name is atretochoana  
Friday calls them "A threat to moana" and it never fails to make Kyra laugh  
Penis snakes don't have lungs  
Friday: I would strangle your boss but they literally don't have lungs

Kyra's boss is now based off Cyrus ("That sounds like a you problem", "you don't get to complain", "stop making excuses", etc.)

IDEA: IT LOOKS LIKE MIKE HAS MANBOOBS BC THEY HAVE KEELED STERNUMS DESIGNED FOR FLIGHT  
PHYSICS MOTHERFUCKER

"So, Carl tried to light my hair on fire," Kyra announced. None of her coworkers or bosses (read: overlords) were impressed by her still-smoldering ponytail. The conference room quickly filled with the stench of burning hair as she continued her report. "Other than that, the new haunting and possession assignments are going great." This was met with grunts, growls, and various other sounds of approval from the demons.

IN HUMAN FORM, ANGELS AND DEMONS GET BLEEDING EVERY MONTH  
KYRA'S AN EMOTIONAL MESS EVERY TIME

LUNA STILL BLEEDS TOO AND SHE HATES IT

BLEEDING HATERS CLUB

Casual wednesdays are a thing BUT ONLY FOR KYRA and she'll just walk in with no makeup on like "I'm the one who's in charge of all you fuckers I wear what I want"

Kyra themes  
Fall: All the good girls go to hell  
Beginning of story: Easy by OMFG  
Being demoted and falling in love: Easy by Porter Robinson  
After Unfalling: Girl On Fire

HARNESS THE EMOTION OF HAVING A CRUSH ON 2 PEOPLE AT THE SAME TIME AND BEING CONFUSED AND ANXIOUS AND AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

MICHAEL @ KYRA AND FRIDAY: EVERY LITTLE THING BY RUSSELL DICKERSON

Also jod always replies to those "_____ and/or you hate your god" with "how did you know i hate myself?"

JOD AND FRIGGA ARE DATING/MARRIED!  
Basically their entire relationship:  
"How can you still love me after all I've done?"  
"Because you did it not because you wanted them to suffer, but because you didn't. You care for your creations more than you do for yourself, and I'm here to help you realize that you are worth so much more than that."

Kyra meets Anael and Michael in a park (mostly flat, has some big ol' sycamore trees, a lot of grass, and a cement path) during Autumn. Both angels are wearing business clothes and make a beeline for Kyra as soon as they see her. At first she's all weirded out and skittish, but when they stsrt talking, she realizes oh shit they're both hot and really nice and funny wAIT NO FUCK. I have a crush on two angels who look like a couple waiting to happen.

Timeline  
\--  
0\. Prologue is before and during Kyra's Fall and Anael and Michael being broken-hearted => 1\. Kyra's doing her own thing => 2\. Goes to check up on Earth stuff => 3\. Meets A&B => 4\. Kyra gets shunted from Head of haunting [good] to forced ambassador from Hell to Earth [reeeeeeally shitty job] => 5\. A&B are Heaven's ambassadors to Earth => 6\. they're basically forced to work together => 7\. Veeeeeery slow burn => 8a. Right as they're about to do something, that big ol' war starts => 9a. On the battlefield, L+A greet Kyra as "Raphael" and A&B's jaws just hit the fuckin' fLOOR => 10a. Fighty bits => ???  
0\. Prologue is before and during Kyra's Fall and Anael and Michael being broken-hearted => 1\. Kyra's doing her own thing => 2\. Goes to check up on Earth stuff => 3\. Meets A&B => 4\. Kyra gets shunted from Head of haunting [good] to forced ambassador from Hell to Earth [reeeeeeally shitty job] => 5\. A&B are Heaven's ambassadors to Earth => 6\. they're basically forced to work together => 7\. Veeeeeery slow burn => 8b. The whole thing with the missive happens => 9b. Angst train woo-woo.txt [written] => 10b. Shit goes south (Maybe Kyra's called in and told "good job they're gonna fall" and it hurts but she tells them)[written] => 11b. Angst train 2 electric woo-woo[written] => 12b. Jod wakes up from their latest Depression Nap and is like "Hey wait a minute y'all that's my OT3 no touchy"[written] 13b. Metatron does a "FUCK YOU PARENT I DO WHAT I WANT" => 14b. Big battle => 15b. Angst train 3: This Boi Is On Fire[written]   
^^^i like this one better

This one time Kyra has a whole bunch of paperwork to do and it's all due tomorrow, so Friday and Mike help her with the paperwork  
They do a "paperwork party": They change into their pajamas, get coffee and hot cocoa, put up fairy lights, and work through piles of paperwork for Hell. They actually have a lot of fun laughing and joking about some of the questions on the paperwork ["Describe the ambassadors from Heaven" "Hmmmm...Tricksty little shit and golden retriever puppy in human form." *insert laughter here*]Kyra and Mike end up falling asleep and Friday carries them to their rooms, smiling indulgently the whole time.

IDEA: Luci's really chill and every December he brings over all the cards sent to "Satan" instead of "Santa" and the whole crew gets together and writes letters back, magics the asked-for presents into houses, and just generally do adorable things  
Jesus [or Jod] brings the "santa" ones too sometimes and they help with those too

Oh also they go to pride every year in Big Cities (tm) and Lucifer almost always dresses in drag and scares the Hell into the homophobes

Idea: Samael, the angel who led the battle and therefore the Fall, burnt up before he made it to Hell. Jod asked, rather sheepishly, if Raguel would mind doing Them a favor and taking over ruling Hell, because otherwise it would end up becoming anarchy and basically destroy itself, which would cause . Raguel agreed, and was named Satan down there bc he was the adversary of demons who either tried to overthrow him, or went Too Far in their temptations.  
(EXPLAIN WHY JOD CHOSE RAGUEL)

The place the three work is this embassy-lookin thing except they also have to live there and it isn't fenced off. Basically a house with offices. At first, Kyra doesn't get along at ALL with the angels. Then Friday starts a prank war and all bets are off :3

At some point, Kyra "borrows" Friday's laptop, and has her own and Friday's running at once and she's using 'em both a la me with Gabi and a chromebook

Kyra has to relearn how to laugh and enjoy life, bc she forgot how to in Hell

what if the whole "fallen angels and their counterparts used to be one big angel" thing were true, except it was a bit more "Steven Universe" in that they were able to wander around separated? Except maybe they're only able to fuse only with their soulmates, so they couldn't form amalgamations out of too many angels.   
Kyra would often fly around fused with Friday and they worked on the stars together.  
Friday would fuse with Mike, so during long patrol shifts he could sleep and they could take point  
Ooooooh what if when they were all joined, they had all 36 wings as starfire versions of their original colors but also had a burning star at the core with Mercury and Venus orbiting around it?

EVIL IDEA  
KYRA STARTS PINING AFTER MIKE AND THEN FRIDAY TOO AND THEN SHE DOESN'T GET WHAT HER EMOTIONS ARE DOING AND SHE DOES RESEARCH AND FRIDAY AND MIKE WALK IN AND READ OVER HER SHOULDER AND ASK QUESTIONS AND THAT'S HOW THEY GET TOGETHER  
OH OH OH FRIDAY SNEAKS UP BEHIND HER TO SCARE HER AS A PRANK BUT SEES A POLYAMOROUS FLAG ON THE SCREEN AND GETS CURIOUS AND AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Is michael being so golden retriever-like setting him up for too any puppy play fics?  
IDK, but hey, nothing wrong with puppy play

Kyra's demoted to ambassador bc Hell wants someone who the two angels already know. Kyra will get her old job back if she can make Friday and Mike fall by seducing them.

Oooooooo heartbreak part idea: Hell keeps telling Kyra to seduce Mike and Friday, but she refuses every time, and after they finally get together (they're gonna bang before they date, sorry) one of the two angels finds one of those messages and MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM heartbreak, drama, and miscommunications oh my! After that happens, Anael's moping and 'Theliel' is being an ice king to Kyra. It takes a week or so [ya softie] for this to get fixed, and there will be tears in the meantime. Most likely Kyra crying all alone sitting up in the fetal position with her primaries out and curled around her and going "I'm a demon! I've felt way worse pain! Why am I crying? Demons aren't supposed to be able to feel like this! What's going on? Why does it *hurt*? I just want it to STOP" and oooooh what if Mike walks in on her crying eventually and silently goes and gets Friday and she looks up and is like "What?! Here to tell me you're quitting? Or are you here to kill me and finish the job?" and you can just hear the "pa-tink pssssssssshhhhhhhh" sound of the angels' hearts shattering and they both rush over to Kyra and apologize and hold her and they start crying too and they promise "no more keeping secrets" and Mike goes "okay, if we're getting rid of all the secrets, then I have something to show you" and he lets out his wings and tells Kyra who he is and at first she's scared but then she realizes that if he were going to kill her then he already would've. Then Kyra brings up him casting her out and Michael just starts crying again and saying "I'm sorry" over and over and over.  
^^^^^^^^^THIS TO "WHITE FLAG" BY DELTA HEAVY AND/OR HEAVEN'S GATE BY FALL OUT BOY^^^^^^^^^^^  
(Also, that was SUPER cathartic to write)

Angst Train Woo-Woo  
[set right after the missive is found]  
Kyra stood in the middle of her living room, frozen in shock as Mike and Friday walked out the door. She watched it slam shut with a numb detachment. Her vision began to blur, and her body began to shake. Her knees buckled underneath her, and she fell to the floor. She couldn't believe they were gone. She barely got a chance to be with Mike and Friday before they were ripped away from her.  
"Is this what you wanted? For me to suffer?" Kyra sobbed at the ceiling, before shaking her head in dismay. "Of course it is. Who am I kidding? I was thrown out for a reason. You didn't want me, Mike and Friday don't want me, not even Hell wants me! I'm just the leftover demon who couldn't even Fall properly." She let her primary wings out and wrapped them around herself, curling up into a ball. The sharp ache in her chest still hadn't gone away, despite half a dozen attempts to heal it. Almost idly, she wondered if they had poisoned her. It would explain the incurable ache and the fuzziness of the world around her. Overwhelmed, she hugged her knees closer to her chest and began to cry, raw and pained noises forcing themselves out of her throat. She sat there and sobbed as minutes became hours, and hours became days. For all that time, the pain in her chest never left. Almost a week later, she was startled quite badly by a knock on the door. She pulled her wings in, wary.  
"Go away!" Kyra rasped out, her voice all but gone.  
"Kyra, it's me. Mike and I wanted to talk to you," a too-familiar voice called out.  
"What do you want? You made it clear you didn't ever want to see me again," she choked out, the lump in her throat returning.  
"I didn't mean a word of what I said, and I'm sorry for every hurtful word. Can we please come in?" responded another too-familiar voice. Hearing it made the ache in Kyra's chest sharpen, as if a dagger were being slowly pushed into her heart.  
"What? Here to tell me you're quitting? Or are you here to kill me and finish the job?" she snapped.  
The next thing she heard was the door creaking open and a quiet "Oh, Kyra," before she saw a familiar pair of tanned arms wrap around her. Mike leaned his head on Kyra's shoulder as he held her. Moments later, she heard Friday walk in. They, wordlessly, padded over to her before flinging their arms around both Mike and Kyra.  
At that, the ache in her chest dissipated, but Kyra barely registered it. What had her attention was that she had [her mates?] back, and they didn't want her dead. She sagged in relief, going limp in [her mates'?] arms. "I thought you were never coming back," she said into the side of Michael's neck. "I thought you hated me."  
"No!" Both angels exclaimed simultaneously.  
"We would never hate you." Friday said solemnly.  
"Never in a million years," Michael murmured into Kyra's shoulder. Friday clung tighter to them both in agreement.  
"You know, this could've been prevented easily," Friday blurted out. "I think, from now on, we shouldn't keep things from each other. No more secrets." They gave Mike a weighted glance, feeling him freeze for a moment before relaxing again.  
"Okay. No more secrets," he said, and after a moment, Friday echoed him. Kyra pulled them both closer to her, but Mike resisted. "Kyra, if we aren't gonna keep anything from each other, there's something I need to show you." At this, he drew back onto his haunches, took a deep breath, and released his wings. All six of them, shining golden and green in the dim light. His primaries were owl wings. A bird of prey; only Seraphim had those species as primaries, and Mike wasn't- Suddenly, a million dots all connected at once. Kyra began to shake again, eyes wide.  
"S-Seraph-Archangel Michael," she whispered with a mix of reverence and terror.  
He nodded, and his eyes went all big and soft, like they always did when either Friday or Kyra were having a bad day.   
"I can put them away if they're bothering you," he offered. She shook her head.  
"N-no, I'll be fine. Actually, you might be able to answer a few of my questions," She replied, and brought all six of her wings out. A few stray wine-colored feathers floated towards the ground. She glanced down at them, but a loud gasp brought her gaze back up towards Michael and Friday. They both had tears in their eyes.  
"I-it can't be!" Friday whispered.  
"Couldn't be anyone else. She was the only Seraph to fall," Michael said.  
"What's going on? D-did you two know me Before?" Kyra asked cautiously.  
"Know you? Kyra, if you're who we think you are, we did more than know you," Friday paused, and laughed. "Pun intended. "   
Michael swatted them on the arm playfully. "You're such a child sometimes!"  
Kyra laughed a bit, feeling most of the tension in the room dissolve. She felt a warm ball of affection swell in her chest as she spoke. "My name Before was Raphael." At this, both angels froze, then hugged her tightly, grinning like loons. After a few seconds, Friday grinned mischievously and leaned backwards, causing all three of them to collapse in a tangle of limbs.

Angst Train 2: Electric Woo-Woo  
Kyra walked into her boss' office. They gestured for her to take a seat. After she had done so, they smiled at her with far too many teeth.  
"Congratulations, Valkyraeth. You have succeeded. Anael and Theliel wilIl soon Fall." At these words, Kyra's heart stopped and freefell to the pit of her stomach. She forced her face to remain neutral.  
"Is that so?" she asked, struggling to keep her voice steady.  
"Yes. Now, go back up to Earth and have fun. You've been given 2 weeks of leave for this." Kyra quickly stood up and left, heading immediately to the elevator. As soon as she arrived topside, she rushed home, barely holding back tears. The moment she stepped in the door, Kyra cried out for her mates. They hurried over, worried.  
"What's wrong, Kyra? Did something go wrong during the meeting"  
"N-no," she stuttered out. "To them, I did something great. Th-they told me you're b-both going to F-Fall." Her message delivered, Kyra broke down into hiccuping sobs. Both Mike and Friday hugged her as she shook.   
"That's not going to happen. I won't let them take you away from us." Michael promised. She began to sob even harder.  
"We c-can't stop them. Th-they're gonna cont-tact Heaven and t-tell them what hap-pened." She . "Th-they've got a direct line t-to the one in ch-charge up there."  
Very far away in a generally upwards direction, a bright red rotary phone with flame stickers on it rang. It continued to ring for a good long while, until Someone stumbled over to it, still drowsy from the nap They had been enjoying.  
"Hello, Metatron?"  
"Not Metatron."  
"Whatever. I'm calling to report two angels who have committed an offense punishable by Falling. The angels Theliel and Anael have lain with a demon."  
"Oh, really?" Their voice crackled with anger.  
"Yes. They knew the demon Valkyraeth."  
Their anger dissipated. "Oh, that's alright, then. I've been waiting for that for aeons, ever since Kyra became 'Kyra' instead of-ah, well, that's spoilers. Anyways, leave them alone. Kyra's been un-Falling for millenia now; that process takes FAR too long in my opinion. Point is, she isn't one of yours anymore, she's fully forgiven, and for the love of Me, LEAVE MY OT3 ALONE." The reciever was slammed down with enough force to crack the plastic. The Being began muttering to Themself. "Thought those two were cheating on her for a second there. That would've been cause for alarm. Should've known better. All three of them would face Heaven and Hell for one another."  
Speaking of which, at that very moment, another phone rang, this time the blue and green one decorated with bits of white cotton fuzz. When They picked up, the extremely sound of three people yelling over each other was there to greet Them.  
"I DON'T CARE WHO YOU ARE, MAKE MIKE AND FRIDAY FALL AND-"  
"Oh Father, please don't make us Fall we just wanted to be with our mate again and-"  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-"  
"Calm down, neither of you are going to Fall." The yelling cut off abruptly. "In fact, I just got off the phone with Hell. They told me about you three, and I told them to leave you alone. You three are soulmates, after all. Speaking of which, Kyra, you're probably gonna hate Me for this next bit. You Falling was an accident. I tried to Raise you immediately, but the system was so swamped with Falls that it's gonna take until around, oh, five minutes from now to go through. Sorry about that." There was nothing but shocked silence on the other line for a bit after that particular revelation.  
"Y-Wha-Are you-No way," Kyra half-whispered.  
"Yes way," They replied. "How about you three come Up Here so we can talk about your Unfalling in person rather than over the phone?"  
"But won't I burn up the instant I set foot there?"  
"No? How do you think Friday's brother gets here for our annual lunches?"  
"Wha-How-Why-Huh?" Friday responded in their usual undignified manner.  
"Oh. I forgot you guys didn't know about that. Yeah, Raguel volunteered to fall so that could make sure that Hell didn't become *too* much of a mess."  
Add a bit after this where they hang up and then mike goes "Well, guess we better listen to Jod" and kyra goes "wait. Jod?" and mike goes "yeah. They got the idea from a tumblr meme they saw."

ANOTHER SADISTIC IDEA: During the final battle, a Hellfire arrow comes flying at Friday and Michael takes it for them. It gets him somewhere non-lethal, but it was still covered in hellfire. He starts to glow brighter and brighter and Friday's LOSING IT and Kyra comes running over and yells for Apollo, but no need bc right when the glow fades away, Michael's still standing there. His wings look like the fuckin sun and molten gold had a child, and he's ready to kick ASS. Tears are dried, weapons are raised, and shit REALLY starts. Apollo takes his flaminess as a fucking challenge and goes Sun-Mode too and at this point the enemies are secretly pissing themselves.

ANGST TRAIN 3: THIS BOI IS ON FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRE  
The battle raged around them. Friday had found a bolthole and was firing deadly-accurate crossbow bolts at every enemy in range. Kyra and Mike were in the middle of the carnage, each protecting the other as they fought.  
(yadda yadda)  
Friday was out of bolts. They summoned their whip and went to join their mates on the battlefield. When they were almost there, they heard Mike shout a warning before throwing himself in front of them. They heard a loud *thwump* as something embedded itself in Mike's shoulder. When Mke turned around to see if they were okay, they gasped in horror. The arrow that had hit him had been coated in Hellfire, and it was steadily burning a hole in his clothes. Mike-No, this was Michael- began to glow, a harsh brightness that could only mean one thing: His was being burnt up by the Hellfire.  
"Friday...Run." Michael gasped out. "The blast will kill you." Tears in their eyes, Friday backed away, joining Kyra in her efforts to keep any and all enemies away from their dying mate. The glow emanating from Michael got brighter and harsher, until nobody could look directly at it. Suddenly, there was a muffled boom and the glow exploded, then went away entirely. Michael was dead...So why were Kyra's wings still clearly gold-tipped?  
They turned around, and their jaw hit the floor. Michael was very much alive, and looked radiant. All six of his wings were out, and they looked like they were made of star-fire. His eyes were molten gold, and his skin seemed to shine from within. He raised his gun, and it became a shining sword that was shimmering with heat. (Set to Dying by OMFG)  
"I AM MICHAEL, SERAPH-ARCHANGEL OF THE SUN. HELLFIRE IS NOTHING TO ME." He boomed. It was at this moment that Friday realized why he was glowing. He wasn't reacting to the hellfire; he was that someone had tried to kill *them*. They remembered why, even during the war, *nobody* messed with any of the Seraph-Archangels' mates. Well, almost nobody, but They had already apologized profusely for what had happened to Kyra. Friday was promptly pulled out of their own head when Michael started charging towards a group of , wings blazing menacingly.  
"WHICH ONE OF YOU SHOT THAT ARROW?" He . Nobody spoke up. Being the Seraph-Archangel of Truth's mate, Friday knew two things about the situation. First, not saying anything when asked a question is a lie of omission. Second, Michael *hated* lies. They watched as Michael proceeded to torch the group(This bit is set to Baby's On Fire).

In the middle of the fight, Anael ends up back-to-back with Kyra and starts asking her questions and Kyra's just like "Now?! Can't this *wait*?" and they're like "We could end up dying here! I'm not dying without some answers!" 

KYRA'S THEME IS "GIRL ON FIRE"  
IT GAVE ME *CHILLS* THE FIRST TIME I LISTENED TO IT THINKING ABOUT THE DUMBASSES

HOW DID I FORGET ABOUT GABRIEL WHAT THE FUCK  
He's best boi  
angels do their most powerful magic with music, so when Gabriel and his soulmates come to help kick ass during the Battle, he breaks out his trumpet, and he, Ruri, and Mike cover Safe And Sound by Capital Cities, with Friday joining in, and eventually Kyra when she realizes she can without dying.  
AIJFOJGSDFIO IZZY PROBABLY WORKED FOR KYRA WHEN SHE WAS RAPHAEL

Kyra gets caught on Earth by two angels (Anael[friday] and 'Theliel'[mike]). After like a day of working together, Kyra sees that Friday CLEARLY has a crush on Mike, and Kyra tells them to go for it. Friday says they can't and won't explain why, but it's because they're 2 parts of three and their third part Fell before they could (bond?), and so they've been trying to find her but no luck so far (SPOILER ALERT, THEY'RE LOOKING FOR KYRA)  
Kyra does a WHOLE bunch of research about angels bc ^^^ is kinda sus, and she interrogates 'em about it. They tell her about the one they lost to the Fall and it's just SO full of dramatic irony, and also it's a 3 person love square and trope riffs are FUN.

A & B introduce themselves as Anael and Theliel then say that they're going by Friday and Mike bc their names are unusual for humans to hear.

Kyra calls them Friday and Mike in her head, even though she's got Michael-related trauma bc all she can remember about him is that he cast her out (BUT HE DIDN'T! HE TRIED TO CATCH HER AS SHE FELL BUT MEMORY HOLES ARE A BITCH)

After they've been together for a while, Kyra tells 'em what her name was before the fall and both angels tear up, hug her, and schmoop  
Ooooooh maybe after that she asks them what that was all about and they tell her about them before the Fall OHOHOHOHOHOHO WITH A SIDE OF ANGST NOW WITH THAT WHOLE THELIEL-IS-MICHAEL SUBTERFUGE [See Angat Train woo-woo]

MICHAEL WAS THE ONE WHO HAD TO CAST KYRA OUT AND IT ***BROKE*** HIM OOOOOH OR WAIT HE TRIED TO CATCH HER BUT SHE REMEMBERS IT AS HIM FELLING HER  
THAT'S THE EARLIEST THING KYRA CAN REMEMBER  
He lies to Kyra which PAINS him because he's the Angel of truth

Ooooooooh *fun* idea: Friday and Mike both get big crushes on Kyra and feel awkward about it because they nEED TO FIND RAPHAEL and they still have feelings for Raphael, which makes them feel guilty MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Michael goes by Mike on earth, and tells Kyra he does it bc Theliel doesn't make a good human name. Friday knows, so they don't say anything. When Kyra asks if Michael would mind, he gets a funny look in his eyes and says "No, I don't think so." Kyra gets a bit sus when he responds more to Mike than Theliel.

The angel 'Theliel' never existed; that was always a name used by Michael when he went undercover.

Michael and Anael remember what Kyra's aura felt like, but since the whole "human form" thing only happened after (and during) the Fall, they have no idea what her human form looks like

the bones of both angel and demon wings glow like glowsticks in the dark (or when they're pissed off)  
From far away, the war between luci and jod looked like a rave

Anael and Michael both love stargazing because it's all they have left of Raphael [Insert Galaxy by Jayden Bartels here]

Luna and Artemis knew Kyra as Raphael

When Kyra fell, she got the traits of a valkyrie, so she still has wings, but they got darker with the fall. Originally, they were pink so pale that you could only tell they were pink bc when shadows were on 'em the shadows looked pinkish  
Also, the only reason she doesn't look completely awful like the other demons is bc she didn't lose her wings, so she never landed in the pits of burning, molten sulfur, bc she was able to fly over them. the fumes and smoke were what made her wings darker, and changed her voice (she inhaled)  
"As she plummeted into hell and saw the blue flames and bubbling pits of sulfur that awaited her on the ground, she attempted to open her wings. Due to some miracle, she hadn't lost hers like the angels she had seen falling past her, and she was able to open her wings and fly over the sulfur rather than fall into it. Nevertheless, the fumes from the burning sulfur burned her lungs as she breathed, and clung to the feathers of her wings, darkening them. Coughing from the smoke but desperate to reach the ashy3333333 shore before her wings gave out, she flew on."  
There are hands and burnt remnants of wings sticking out of the sulfur, too, and Kyra's absolutely TERRIFIED but she knows she's gotta get across the lake or she's gonna die.

IDEA IDEA IDEA  
After the Fall, God told all the angels that as a way to remind them to love humans, they would look like humans, and that's why Kyra doesn't recognize Michael: because the human form thing is an after-the-fall thing  
Before the Fall, all angels were either pan or ace by default; it was only once bodies existed that preferences began to happen

Oooooh "Heaven's Gate" by Fall Out Boy could be either used for a fluffy scene or the scene of Kyra's Fall >:3

Hell's structure is Dante's circles but corporate-style

PART OF THE REASON FRIGGA WANTS TO HELP L+A AND K+F+M'S WORLD IS BECAUSE FRIDAY IS NAMED AFTER HER DAY  
Also, Friday's hair is raspberry and bluish purple (she dyes it from black, and it's very much spot-the-protag hair) and her eyes are blue. Her wings are mostly the colors of her hair, but the arches are golden. The feathers near the base of her wings are golden and later on wine colored too when the bond is finished.

Mike's wings are gold and green and the bases are raspberry, blue-purple, and the arches are red RED GOLD AND GREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN KARMA KARMA KARMA CHAMELEOOOOOOOOON

At some point Friday and Kyra convince Mike to reenact the stripping scenes from Magic Mike BECAUSE YOU CAN'T HAVE WASHBOARD ABS AND BE NAMED MIKE AND *NOT* DO THAT

It's a Thing(tm) for angels to see their mate/s(Fallen or not) in their colors.

Apollo and Michael get along rlly well bc they're both Sun-oriented

Kyra has a Bottle Of No that has chorinated water in it, and if mike misbehaves, she threatens his hair with it XD

Kyra's the Head of Household Hauntings. When guys like Shaun and Ryan go into a house or other place, she's there. She's damn good at her job too

Side Note: The Big Battlefield is COVERED in fog For The Aesthetic

OH  
IDEA  
Take one Kyra, one Friday, and one Mike. Have Kyra show the others the Internet  
Y E S  
THIS IS A GREAT IDEA  
also can we talk about how I made the Archangel FUCKING Michael, the one who personally kicked Satan's ass, into a big ol' golden retriever puppy part of the time?  
oh and I made a controversial (for me) decision  
Jod's cool in my story  
They're just REALLY good at Depression Naps™️  
They had to throw their kid in HELL, okay? They're doing the best they can!  
(Basically God is a high school/college student)

RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRG   
SINCE "ARCHANGEL RAPHAEL" AND "aRCHANGEL MICHAEL" SOUND CLEANER THAN "SERAPH MICHAEL" AND "SERAPH -ACTUALLY WAIT NO VIVA LA FUCK CLEAN-SOUNDING STUFF IT'S ACCURATE BC "THE ***BURNING*** ONES"

Kyra and Mike are NOT morning people, so Friday brings them coffee as soon as they get out of bed, but until then, Mike makes these cute little snuffling noises and refuses to speak.

Angel and demon wings kind of have a mind of their own (ish). They react to emotions.

Evil idea: Have the three have to break up before the war and MWAHAHAHAHA

Protags:Kyra, Mike, Friday, Jod, Lucifer?, Luna, Artemis  
Antags: METATRON

Characters: for character design, see CharacterDesign.rtf

"I know I'm not supposed to have favorites, but eh. I like Raphael, Michael, and Anael the most. WAIT WHAT DO YOU MEAN RAPHAEL FELL"-Jod

K just called J "Yeeter-dad" and hnnnnnnnnnnnnnng noooooooooo

IDEA: When angels come of age, their wings get their mates' colors. The green, gold, raspberry, and blurple are still in K's wings and that's how M and F knew that K was Raphael

something about that "crash" you get after being with friends then getting home  
Name Ideas  
\--  
Maingels: Arael, Amael, Meriel, Amaliel, Hariel, Ajiel, Aniel, Amiel, Araliel, Astaiel, Astariel, Havael; Aniel and Hanael?

Playlist  
\--  
Locked Out Of Heaven by Bruno Mars (Kyra's theme)  
Heaven's Gate by Fall Out Boy (K's Fall)  
Miss Missing You by Fall Out Boy (K's memory gap)  
Immortals by Fall Out Boy (Kyra's   
IDOL by BTS  
Teeth by 5 Seconds of Summer  
Heaven and Hell by Black Sabbath  
Run To You by Bryan Adams  
Peach Fuzz by Caamp  
Rotten To The Core by Descendants  
WTF by HUGEL  
Death Valley by Fall Out Boy  
Mighty Fall by Fall Out Boy  
South London Forever by Florence + The Machine  
No One Could Love You More by Gladys Knight & The Pips  
Don't Play by Halsey  
Good Mourning by Halsey  
Jezebel by Iron and Wine  
Galaxy by Jayden Bartels  
Imagine by John Lennon  
Oh My My by OneRepublic  
King Of The Clouds by Panic! At The Disco  
LA Devotee by Panic! At The Disco  
I'll Stand By You by The Pretenders  
The Weight Of Love by Snow Patrol  
Dance Monkey by Tones and I  
Black & Gold by Sam Sparro  
Monody by TheFatRat  
Artificial Light by Typhoon  
All These Things That I've Done by The Killers  
Southern Sky by (Sandy)Alex G  
Miracle Aligner by The Last Shadow Puppets  
Dancing On My Own by Robyn  
White Flag by Delta Heavy  
No Bullets Spent by Spoon  
The Chain by The Highwomen (also by Fleetwood Mac)  
All My Friends by Dermot Kennedy  
End Of All Time by Stars of Track and Field  
Karma chameleon by Culture Club (wing colors)  
Hold Each Other by A Great Big World  
It's a hard life by Queen[angst train woo woo.txt]  
Rock of Ages: intro = M; K]  
100 Bad Days by AJR[Jod? That or luci or kyra]  
all the good girls go to hell[Kyra's theme from after fall to getting demoted]  
midnight rider [Kyra]  
Angels by vicetone[Kyra and Luci and Jod]  
Another one bites the dust[Kyra kicking ass]  
Bellyache by Billie Eilish[Luci @ beginning of reign as luci]  
best day of my life by american authors [Kyra and mike and friday being together]  
minor version [Kyra during and after fall (also maybe the bit where m almost dies)]  
Knocking on heaven's door (but not by bob dylan bc he doesn't sound good)[Kyra wanting back up into heaven]  
Bury a friend [kyra when meeting M and F]  
Colors by Halsey [Friday when Raguel fell]  
Cradles by Sub Urban [Luci after fall]  
Don't You (Forget About Me) by Simple Minds  
Kinfolks by Sam Hunt (Mike @ Kyra when they first meet)

Kyra is scary good at piloting/driving anything that moves in air or on ground [cars, horses, trucks, etc.] bc she's a *modern* valkyrie, thank you very much

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm also in the process of editing and adding bits to this, so check back regularly, and let me know if you have any questions, comments or suggestions!  
> Also, bonus points if you can spot the various references sprinkled throughout the outline


	12. Various Short Story Ideas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I decided to put a few different untitled short story ideas in one chapter, so here ya go!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs to blame for these ideas will be listed throughout the chapter to minimize confusion

Hitch-Hiker Idea  
guy chilling and walking down a road, clearly a hitchhiker  
Fuckin' party bus meets knight bus pulls up  
They're like "Dude, get in!"  
He listens and gets in  
when he looks at the people, he realizes it's basically a -populated bus  
Cue adventure!  
Set to "Down The Road" by C2C

Assassin Idea   
Female assassin who's great at her job but is pining for this one person who happens to be her target. The person knows. They don't _care_ they're a target, because they lowkey wanna commit no  
"Dude what the hell. I'm being _paid_ to **_kill you_** and you ask me out for drinks?"  
"Yep."  
"What is _wrong_ with you?"  
"Oh, _so_ much."  
*annoyed assassin noises*  
Theme song: Take Me Out by Franz Ferdinand and Six Shooter by Coyote Kisses

Cryptid Beach Volleyball Idea  
Volleyball game at sunset-ish on the beach during summer, but there's a catch: IT'S FUCKIN CRYPTIDS AND GHOSTS AND OTHER BEANS  
Everyone wants bigfoot on their team  
Mothman is terrifyingly good at spiking the ball  
Nessie is in the ocean, helping retrieve the ball if it falls/rolls in  
Jersey Devil is just...There  
Chupacabra  
Fresno Nightcrawler with boardshorts on  
Bigfoot getting sand in his fur  
one cryptid shows up with food  
another one brings the ball  
write the cryptids travelling  
start out spoopy then make it cute  
Write like a children's book?  
Cryptids  
\--  
Bigfoot  
Mothman  
American version of Nessie  
Jersey Devil  
Fresno Pants  
Chupacabra

LMAO WHAT IF RYAN AND SHANE FROM BUZZFEED UNSOLVED SAW THAT AND WERE JUST LIKE "....WHAT"

set to Livin' Right by The Score


	13. Fog Over The Hills

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is another poem I wrote early in the morning. It's another one about fog, but it's pretty different from the last one. Hope you enjoy!

Normally the world is right-side-up  
But when the fog is crawling over the mountains  
The ones that cradle the place I call home  
Then it seems as if the world  
Has gone sideways  
Up is right and down is left  
And sunrise lights the peaks of clouds  
Flying through the tilted sky  
As the twilit fog monster crawls  
Over the mountain peaks  
Of the place I call home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think! Feedback and requests are always appreciated!


End file.
